Ok so last night I was at a roof party at some guy I don't even know's house (seriously this happens alot too me ) anyways we were shooting hoops over at one end then some piss drunk dude comes and throws up over the edge we were like 7 floors up so I was like omg I hafta see that land so i go check it out It lands on some guys car just as he's pulling into the underground parking I was like ohhh crap the guy gets out of the car and the drunk guy pukes again it land right on the guy below I almosed pissed myself laughing sadly the guy below called the cops and everybody booked it home but it was a good party.

sweet.

Did you said "Biatch!" after it? Get Sandwiched and than a ♥♥♥♥♥ slap. Epic

Kel, we've had plenty of times together... I don't recall if any were epic though. One will come to me eventually though. And I'm pretty sure that story went different though, buuuuut I'll keep my mouth shut over that. :3

Oh, now I remember an epic moment. Not necessarily epic, but it's satisfying in my mind. I won't make the gigantic novel post though, since I already know that halfway through, I won't be satisfied and I'll just delete it straight away, so I'll throw it into TL;DR format.

I went ahead, started dating this one girl (The woman was a slut, I'll be honest, lol.) for about a week, until she started giving me the "Parents don't trust you" BS, even though I've never met the broad's parents. So, what do I do? I go ahead and start dating her best friend, after convincing her to break up with the moron she was already with.

Probably not epic, but Something will come to mind after time.

I accedentally posted this in the wrong thread.
According to Krumbs.

In order to understand why I find this epic, you need to know 2 things.
First, my history teacher is a homosexual (confirmed, not just lolurgay).
Second, I'm a sophmore. Look up 'sophmoric' in the dictionary if you need to in order to understand why I find this funny.
So, I had an in-class essay. When my history teacher was talking about it, he kept on saying 'There will be no in-class aids- no notes, no anything.' He then repeated the phrase several times, 'No in-class aids. No aids in class. I will not have any aids in my class,' while often emphasizing aids as people asked the usual dumb 'but what about x, that's not notes?'
In order to hide my idiotic laughter, I ended up having to fake a cough. Unfortunately for me, I had run half a mile in 28 degree weather outside in my gym class a few periods before the class, and this turned into a real coughing fit.
When the teacher asked (jokingly, I'm certain now- I never talk, interrupt class, or generally cause teachers to have to work so I'm decent terms with my teacher) whether I found something funny, I tried to speak and then coughed harder. This seemed to annoy the teacher somewhat.
Luckily, I was saved by the fact that a girl in my class then fainted and fell sideways out of her chair with a surprisingly loud thud.

found that funny, any reason why?
and also couldn't find "Sophmoric" in the dictionary

Sophmore comes from the word sophmoric. Soph means wise, moric means fool. So, you get wise fool.

tl;dr you think you know everything but you dont.

See, he's right. Look at how my story was told. It's epic not just cause of what I did, but also by HOW I told it.

I remember when I was in elementary school, I made a rumor that our fat gym teacher was a lesbian.

Next year, she left. It turned out that she actually was a lesbian.

lol@femalegolfers

Well I did your mum,
and she liked it.

is better than

It happened yesterday at about 3 'o' clock in the afternoon. I sat patiently in my assigned seat and read my book I had taken along with my carry-on luggage. I looked up from my fine piece of literature for a moment and checked out the window to my left. An endless sea of blue with billowy mountains of clouds here and there was laid out before me. I turned my head to the left to seethe other traveler's. Next to me was my step-brother, eyes closed listening to his iPod and next to him was a wise old hermit, using a laptop to expand his already vast knowledge of the world, no doubt. I returned to the land of fantasy I was previously engaged in with a contented sigh.
Suddenly I felt a pressure building in my lower abdomen. I tried my hardest to ignore this beast in my bowels. The two of us fought valiantly and with honor, but alas in the end I was no match for the demon's unholy strength. I knew I had to exorcise it from my body or I would be consumed by it. I quickly pleaded with my step brother and the hermit to make way for me. I barely managed to walk and not run to the sacred altar of discharge in the back of the airship.
As I got there I quickly undid my denim trousers and opened the demon pot, where the ungodly monsters are trapped and expelled from this mortal world. I stood and sighed in relief as the devil flowed out of my body while reciting holy psalms. I eventually finished and washed my hands of the demon's taint. I had won... or so I thought.
As I left the altar I saw that the air maids were dispensing beverages to the masses. Yet something seemed off. I gasped as I noticed that not only were they charging 5 dollars for said beverages, but their food carts blocked my way, sealing me off from a well earned respite. I then realized that these wenches must have been possessed by the demon I had just expelled and were working against me. Anger and fury filled my mind. I needed three things: To get to my seat, to get some rest, and to get a refreshment. I knew my goals were foolhardy, since I was definitely not going to fork over $5 for a measly can of soda. I walked into the harpy's unoccupied den and saw a mess of opened beverages. 'Surely,' I had thought, 'There must be one unopened can.' My eyes widened in joy as I saw an undefiled can of Sprite. I looked back at the She-demons and grabbed the can when they were not looking. I quickly stuffed the sacred bubbled water into the pocket of my cloak and continued forwards, hand in pocket to conceal the can from view.
I approached the harpies and tried at first to hide and get to my seat when they passed it. After 20 minutes of waiting and them not moving, I knew it would not work. Sweat ran down my face, did they know what I had done, who I was? Surely the demon will not suffer me to die of exhaustion! These thoughts and others raced through my mind as I stood there. Finally I grasped the holy symbol around my neck and, filled with courage spoke to the witches, "Excuse me, I need to get to my seat, 14A!" The godlike booming of my voice seemed to rebuke these servants of evil as they ran away as fast as they could from me. I quickly gave thanks to my patron deity and seized the opportunity to return to my seat. I panicked when I realized that I had to wait for my companions to get out of the way, fearing every second the Possessed would return and strike me down. I hurriedly ran into my seat, heart beating fast, and sat down. I reclined the chair, took a sip from my hard-won trophy, and closed my eyes. I had escaped with my life and a fine prize. I had won.

$5 for a pop? What airline were you on?