Well here you go, tell me what you think. Constructive critisim is welcome.

Back story and stuffs for newcomers:
Well my last fan fic was a success (until I got bored with the writing), and since I wanted to do something a little more realistic for a story I decided to do it all over agian. The setting is from the perspective of a black ops squad (tasked with assinations, sabotage, etc.) who is fighting a war in 2023. Armed with advanced tech and the matte black future warfighter armor, they do the diry work of the UN army.

In this future the communism that was in China invaded russia, the koreas, and just about anything in Asia and formed a massive Communist collective that in 2014 entered a "Second Cold War" with Europe and other capitalist countries. This "peace" was not to last, on October 12, 2023 the cold war went hot after South Korean freedom fighters detonated a bomb in a factory, destroying it, The collective was quick to point the finger to the West and declared war, the 3rd world war had begun.

LONGBOW SQUAD

My guy
Real: CPT. Garrett Wegmeyer
Name: Alpha
Skill: Rifleman/Leader
Weapon: MR-C (Modular Rifle-Caseless) (6.8mm x 50 round clip) w/ EGLM 40mm Grenade launcher and a Zeiss Optronics AN/PAS-13A scope (x17 zoom), MP7 sidearm and a KM2000 combat knife
Personality: A tatical genious and master of Muy Thai I have a firm and very professional look at the battlefeild, expecting 200% out of all my men and with an explosive temper I can often put too much stress on the troops. I enjoy a clean and precisely completed mission.
Kazuki
Name: SGM. Kazuki T. Snacks
Nick: Kazuki
Skill: Autogunner/ Second-in-command
Weapon: MG4 Light Machine Gun (7.65mm x 100 round drum), Storm RX sidearm, Shadowsheath combat knife
Personality: Neutral. Not afraid to kill an ally, but only if he had to. Enjoys long missions, especially when they're straightforward "kill or be killed." Sometimes gets a little crazed in battle, etc. Has never had to retreat, and never wants to. Hates it when he is assigned something similar to 'guard duty', as opposed to the alternative of going with the rest of the squad.
warper
Name: SPC. Mark St.John
Nick: Nitro
Skills: Big guy, ok-ly fast, demolitions training and an ex SEAL.
Weapons: K-18 Assault Rifle (7.65mm x 25 round clip) w/ EGLM 40mm Grenade launcher and optional 8x variable zoom scope and silencer, combat knife.
Gear: 20 pounds of XM-8 high density explosives/detonators, 20 meteres of detinote tape and thermite charges.
Personality: One of the calmest people your ever likely to meet, he's extremely loyal and if force is an option, he'll take it, however; gets a excited around explosives.
Fippe
Name: SPC. Kyle Kolykov
Nick: Phantom
Skill: Sniping
Weapon: Experimental Ka-77, weapon which produces bullets from sand, water and snow.
Personality: Russian. Shady at first, but quite friendly when you know about him enough.
3 Solid
Name: SPC. John Smith
Nickname: Solid
Skill: Close combat and melee/ also trained as a medic
Weapon: SPAS 14 combat shotgun, Storm RX sidearm, combat knife
Gear: Full battlefeild medic equipment
Personality: Sees the war as a sport. Likes killing, doesn't like talking to others. Has an odd helmet fetish.
Other: He strapped the knife to his wrist. It makes it easier for him.

GLADIUS SQUAD

Couchcaboose
Name: 1LT. Joanna Luo
Nick: Tex
Skill: Leader of Gladius Squad
Weapon: SCAR-H carbine (7.65mm x 20 round clip) w/ FENIR scope, Storm RX sidearm, PA20 combat knife
Personality: As one of the few women in a Black ops squad let alone the leader of one, she dosent respect the massive flack she gets from her men. An expert in Capoeira and a quick and light recon expert she is a formidable leader, however; she has a somewhat laid back personality often butting heads with the very serious Alpha who's squad hers often teams up with.
Dauss
Name: SGM. Pending
Nick: Dauss
Skills: Combat Engineer/ Second-in-Command
Weapons: 'Shredder' C67 SMG (45. caliber x 35 round clip), Shotpistol (22 gauge x 5 round clip)
Personality: Quick, serious, but not above a quick one liner or pun. Conserves ammo if possible, : |
Shade
Name: SPC. Jeff H.
Nick: Shade
Skills: Observation and stealth
Weapons: Dual razor sharp wrist blades, silenced 9mm pistol, and a set of deadly poisons and darts.
Gear: Advanced eletronic x100 zoom binoculars with a build in radio and laser targeting system.
Personality: Unsocial, blood thirsty cut throat that works only for money or interest. Borderline psychotic.
jaybud4
Name: SPC. James A. Yarnick
Nick: Jay
Skill: Support / Medic
Weapon: Predator Rocket Launcher, MP 7 sidearm, PHZ400 combat knife
Personality: A master of any big gun or medical equipment, Reckless but very sympathetic to wounded men, enjoys roasting tanks and groups of infantry.
Holy Mombassa
Name: SPC. Alan Renard
Nick: Hawkeye
Skill: Sniper
Ordinance: Crescent OX351 .50 cal (HE rounds) (Oracle 2, 4, 8, 16x scope), Ballista Magnum (HE rounds)
Aracnus Air-Fuel Grenades
Personality: Calm and Patient, but a smartass in combat situations. Loves to get up close and personal despite his weapon of choice.


AND HERE IS THE STORY:
Reds at the Gates; Chapter 1: Huron Down

“SIR!”
I opened my eyes to a blurry mess of streaks and flashes so disorientating that it was impossible to move ones self. My mind was a scrabble of half-developed thoughts punctuated by a skull-splitting headache, and the ringing in my ears wasn’t helping
“Sir, just hold on for a second!”
A black shape moved in front of my field of view, blocking it. Shortly after I felt a ♥♥♥♥♥ on my arm as the adrenaline syringe was driven into my brachial vein. The effect was immediate, my vision cleared and the headache and ringing in my ears stopped.
“Sir, are you OK?”
I turned my head to see our battlefield medic SPC. John Smith aka. Solid, straightening me into a sitting position
“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little shaken”
“Damn armor saved you life Sir”
He gestured to my chest plate where a large piece of shrapnel was lodged over my right lung; I pulled it out and threw it across the rubble strewn ground.
“What the hell happened?”
“Well sir don’t you remember, we got hit my AA fire while coming in and crashed”
He looked over his shoulder to the shredded remains of the UH-82 Huron transport. A horrible thought struck me instantly. I stood up being wary of enemy fire.
“And the others?”
“There all fine, we are holed up in a building not far from here, one of the pilot’s didn’t make it, we have to get moving though”
I felt over my back and located my MRC which I quickly pulled into my hands, it seemed to be undamaged but in my experience with lightweight synthetic materials had taught me to check first, the last thing you wanted to do was to get into a firefight and realize you gun was busted. I ejected the clip and then slid it back in, seemed fine. I switched the gun to semi and fired a few rounds into the concrete roadway under my feet. Satisfied I moved to access my digitcom, the system booted up showing all frendlies and detected foes in the immediate area, and there were a hell lot of red dots, a group of 4 blue dots punctuated them though; the comm. analyzed them as being 200 yards away.
“Let’s get going then”
I quickly poked my head out of the crater we were in, and the scope of the battle hit me, bodies everywhere, bullets and traces whizzing into every imaginable corner mixed with the explosions and dust made this urban battlefield at dusk look like hell on earth.
“Switch to thermal” I said, turning a knob on the side of my helmet. The battlefield quickly switched to a landscape of red and orange blobs. There were 3 targets in a building on the left side of the street, luckily, however; they were occupied with a Bradley APC covering the intersection ahead of us.
“All clear, this dust will give us cover”
I pointed across the street to an alleyway between some building and the one occupied by enemies. We quietly ran across the street in a half-crouch to minimize our target profile. We got to the other side without a single bullet our way, things were looking up. Suddenly a group of Chinese soldiers came around the bend, we locked eyes and for a second nobody made a move, not a breath was inhaled of exhaled, then the world caught up and time slipped back into place. I quickly fired to bursts into the center of the mans mass, as he keeled over Solid fired a blast from his shotgun catching the men behind the lead in the face; both fell back a large piece of their faces missing. I quickly pressed my back up against the wall and looked sharply for more enemies, none came either no one heard the shots or they didn’t care. Solid kicked the corpses in an aggressive way that just made me cringe.
“Stupid bastards are dead sir” he said, anticipation quavered on his lips
“Hope there are more of them to kill”
As we walked past the bodies and into the alley way it suddenly got very dark, I looked up to see a few MIG-31s fly by spreading light absorbing smoke behind them.
“Smart” I observed
“There trying to blind our men, it seems however that no one told them that all UN solders are armed with night vision”
“Idiots!” snorted Solid.
We quickly moved along the alley way and up to the intersection. The building the rest of Longsword squad was in was just across the street. I opened up short-range comm. channels.
“Status report Longsworders” I barked over the radio
“I can see you sir are you close…..oh wait never mind I see you guys” Said my second-in-command; SGM Snacks.
“There are a number of hostiles in your area it’s going to be hell getting across the street”
“Can you give us covering fire?”
“Of course Sir”
“Alright we are moving on the count of three...”
“1…!”
“2…!”
“3…!” and with that Solid and I made a mad dash of the two story town-house across the street. The rest of the squad opened fire on the building that had looked over the alley way we had just ran out of. I had had these moments before back in training and I always, always got hit, I was just hoping that today was different. We ran for our lives and Solid who was just ahead of me bolted through the door, unluckily today was not my day a bullet the back of my leg just as I ran up the steps. I fell to my knees as the pain of the blow shot through my leg temporarily disabling it. I would have been Swiss cheese if Solid and SPC. St. John hadn’t pulled my through at the last second.

Reds at the Gates; Chapter 2: Reinforcement

“Nice sir!” said Solid pulling me over to the wall and pulling a pair of forceps out of his bag. The wound in the back of my leg was surprisingly, not hurting nearly as much as normal gunshot wound.
“You trying to beat your record, two more and you’ll get it!” Mark aka. “Nitro” stated as Solid started to pull the bullet out of the hole in my leg, a short burst of pain later and most of the pain subsided. He quickly sprayed some antiseptic into the wound and wrapped it up in gauze. I stuck out my hand and Nitro helped me to my feet.
“This way sir” he said starting for the stairs,
“Kaz and Kolykov are upstairs”
As we started toward the steps, the house rumbled and shook until bits and pieces of drywall flaked off the ceiling and walls.
“Hey you two look who got here...” announced Nitro as we got to the top of the steps.
“The cap and Solid”
Kaz my second in command looked up from a radio set on the table, Kolykov just jammed a handful of dirt into his rifle’s breech.
“Hey” he said in a heavy Russian accent dripping of adrenaline as he pulled the trigger, the resin compacted dirt no doubt was now lodged in the skull of an enemy.
“Are you fine sir? We’ve been holding out fine but the enemy is rolling armor through this sector and we are screwed unless we can remove it.”
“I’m fine Kaz, just a round in the leg” I responded as I reached down to rub the wound “Its fine.”
“Just call in an Apache” said Solid stepping toward the radio
“Tried, command is all tied up, they can’t help us worth a damn” said the Master Sergeant slamming his fist on the table.
“However since our whole operation is a bust we have to meet up with Gladius squad and move to an evac point, its gonna be a lot of fun”
“Any support?” asked Nitro
“Little, the UN is pulling out of Sacramento along with most of the west coast”
Kolykov fired another round then looked up to us.
“We should move, the enemy has passed up” he said in his low, dark voice.
“I agree” I said “Lets get moving, don’t want to keep old friends waiting.”
Kaz lifted his HK MG4 off the table and bulled the bolt back slamming a round into the chamber, everyone else readied their weapons as did I checking for any damage after my fall. Nitro picked up the radio and stuck it in his back pocket.
“Everyone ready?.. lets move”
We quickly filed down the stairs and to the front door.
“Did you guys get those bastards across the street?”
“Sure did sir” said Kaz “Riddeled em’ all full of holes”
“Good I don’t want any more bullets in me”
Night had came and covered all of the Californian city in an inky blackness permeated only be the lights of far off battle. Everyone was already pulling their vision goggles over their eyes. I signaled with my hands and we quietly moved off down the street, wary of any enemies that might alert an innumerable number of solders to our location, however; night was on our side. We stuck low and moved with our backs up to the walls of the buildings on either side of the street, Kaz and I along the left side Nitro, Solid and Kolykov on the left. Suddenly a huge flash of light and a roar of sound erupted from the intersection ahead of up breaking the light silence of the road. Everyone split for the nearest cover.
“Holy shi-!” yelled Solid over the radio “what the hell!”
“Phantom, get an ID on whatever that was” I commanded back.
Kolykov pulled out his sniper and leaning out from the building they were using as cover took aim down the barrel of this sniper.
“Uhh, 2 Type 96 tanks and a couple dozen infantry. Seems like they just got done finishing off a Bradley and its crew.”
“Crap” I responded “We don’t have any anti-armor” we are screwed if they spot us
“Don’t worry” said Nitro reassuringly “Got plenty of my custom explosives right here” he patted one of the many satchels on his belt”
“And exactly what did you customize them with?” queried Kaz
“Umm…well…..nothing you would understand….er, um, never mind”
“Riiight!” responded Kaz sarcastically.
“So about that armor...” I cut in
“Right!” said Kaz “I’ll get right on that” he switched to long-range radio.
“Command this is Longbow squad, ID code; 1296750”
“This is command, Longbow squad, we are receiving you”
“We need anti-armor support, stat at location 36; point zero mark two seven”
“Well your in luck Longbow squad, the Bundeswehr just pulled into Sacramento to cover and remaining UN troops”
“The Bundeswehr? What are they doing here” said Solid over the radio to me.
“I will patch you through to the tank commander” said the operative.
The radio buzzed and started emitting a steady rumble.
“Halo zeiss ist Captain Ausberg auf the 40th Armored Battalion” a man with a heavy German accent said over the radio.
“We were ordered to assist du ins your fight, how may I serve?”
“We need anti-armor at sector 36, point zero mark two seven” I said to the tank commander
“Ahh gut, vet just so happen to be in that sector right now, moving to your location”
A few seconds later the ground began to rumble and shake, dust was shaken from buildings and bits of broken concrete fell from rooftops. I looked down the street to see a pair of Leopard 4 tanks rumbling up the street, their four massive treads kicking up a storm of concrete dust.
“Du may want to stand back” said Captain Ausberg “Fuer!”
The cannons erupted in a burst of light, a shockwave of sound and heat was blasted down the street we were on slightly affecting our balance, as I steadied myself the 130mm rounds hit their targets down the street causing them to explode in a brilliant plume of fire, smoke and black tinted smoke. Enemy infantry that weren’t killed in the explosion where running around is disarray, confused and blinded.
“Clear the area men!” I yelled, which of course mean kill any enemy. We opened fire on the enemy who was now able to mount some sort of defense, a RPG streaked out from the flames and exploded on the frontal armor of one of the German tanks; it just left a scorch mark. I unloaded a couple bursts down the street and watched as a few enemy soldiers few down, Kaz unloaded with his MG4 sending the large-caliber bullets streaking down the street into the enemy formation, as did the tanks; their 50. ammo was cutting a swath of destruction through the morale broken men, I turned my head to see Nitro pull the pin out of an M67 and lob it down the road just as Kolykov crammed a fistful of drywall into his rife and fired, the silent sniper rifle made no noise as the deadly gypsum board flew out of the barrell. The M67 that had just been thrown exploded in the air above the enemies flinging shrapnel upon the enemies heads, by now the enemy was returning fire. The 7.65mm rounds of the AK 47 can easily pass through some of the armor on our bodies and that was enough reason for the squad and me to take cover. The number of men was obivously still enough to pour an massive ammount of fire down the street to our location forcing up to take cover.
“Umm, Ausburg… a little help…” I said over the comm channel
“Got it, firing main guns now” he responded, immediately the pair of panzers fired again, the rounds struch the street righ where the remaing enemies were located, flinging chunks of concrete, bodies and metal into the air and creating a gian fireball where the chinese soldiers once were.
“Mission completed” Said the tank commander over his radio “ve are now moving off to assist in other locations”
“Thanks Ausburg!” I said enthusastically, “I owe you one”, and with that the tanks trundeled off down the street.
“Squad form up” I said “we need to move out”
“Sir Gladius squad is this way” pointed Solid from across the street, “we need to go this way…” Kaz and I ran across the debris strewn road and began down the alley way that Solid had pointed out, a few meters down I began to turn my night vision on when a black boot came out of the darkness right toward my face.

How come I'm not in it?

Spell check more. Also make sure to avoid repeating words immediately after the other. Such as "I had had these moments before", you could change that to "I've had these moments before". Looks fine other than the grammar and spelling mistakes.

Thanks, I have a tendency of repeating words, for some reason, and I usually spell check but I should do a more comprehensive self-check.
@Orindell: Well bacuse as this was an introduction chapter, me and solid were the only ones in it, the next chapter waill be a considerable deal longer and have EVERYONE in it.

YAYI'MINTHEFIRSTCHAPTER!!

Nice writing. I'm looking forward to the others.

Well thanks, that SPAS 14 you have fires 10 gauge shells, so it could tear the face off two men with ease. I might put out the next chapter late today or early tomorrow, so be on the look out.

Is it just me, or does the Medic sound like Radar (from M.A.S.H.) in your head ?

Of course, if you even know what M.A.S.H. is you probably wouldn't remember it .

Anyways, it's lookn' good : just spell check, try to break up the dialogue a bit and lay of the Chinese. Remember; if the Chinese market suddenly decided to stop trading with the US and Canada because of a war, both economies would grind to a halt. Canada exports a heck of a lot there, and the US buys a fair bit as well. Think about what that'll do to the US of A, and try to write it in . It'd be hilarious if a gun jammed and the man muttered, "Damn domestic machinery ...".

Good idea, however; most of the weapons used by the US in this time period are German manufactured, the G36 and its variants are standard issue for all UN troops.

Not bad, not bad.

Keep it up, I'll be looking for the next one.

We want part two!

Naow!

(Thank you for this awesome story.)

I'm working on it, having major problems with the part where Longbow and Gladius meet, the dialouge is a tad off....

Dont forget me! AND I WANT A NEW CHAPTER NOA!!!

Your in the next chapter (CH. 3) Orindell, but before I post; who wants a "beta" of chapter 2? I am going to start sending them to someone to review before I post them.

Really nice story, i would wonder if there would be third team so some could join there . But continue, Really good!.

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!