-blah-

Garrett, Samuel, Franky, and I were in Garrett's SUV. We were driving around yelling at people and being mischievious. We had just stopped at a light, and Frank yelled "NIGGERS" to a car next to us.
Apparantly it was some upper classmen from our school, they quickly and illegally switched lanes and a high speed chase ensued. We went like 70 on residental and we were swerving back and forth trying to lose them. We quickly found ourselves parallalled to the road on a dead end.
We panicked, '♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥!'
Garrett yelled and turned over median onto incoming traffic and switched 2 lanes before swerving right.

A bit afterwards, some kids called Garrett's cell phone and got angry at him, so he promptly put them in their places, asking things like "What am I suppose the be? The ♥♥♥♥ language police? How am I accountable for this ♥♥♥♥? You are all illiterate idiots!"

heheh cringe. glad you didnt die in a head-on.

not angsty anymore. and yes, stupidest thing ive done.


no, i stopped reading there too. i read it later, and wished i hadnt.

i still laugh when i read this.

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before you read this, think tiny shitbox of a vehicle.
id just gotten over to a friends house and their dad was leaving the property. He took the handbrake off on his car while it was idling, then couldn't get the stupid thing out of neutral when it started rolling backwards. he tried to put the handbrake on again, and it apparently failed in some way (we heard a kinda retching noise. it totalled their garage/shed, took the back wall out and another one of the walls collapsed. the car stopped rolling when it hit metal fence at the top of a 2m retaining wall, luckily. his dad got out slowly, and walked up beside us, eyes wide. the other wall fell down.
it was brilliant.
ill see if i can get a picture, no promises though.

Short tale that was quite amusing for me.

I was cycling one afternoon and I usually go by this park. It was around 3:30pm so a lot of the primary school kids had just finished school and some of them ride their bikes home along the path there. Since I ride reasonably fast, I decided to slow down around here just in case... Anywho, I see this kid riding in the opposite direction trying to act "cool" by weaving at people as they walked by. I just thought to myself, he's just some stupid kid, i'll just ride past and ignore him. When he rides past he without a doubt attempted to swurve at me so I would be put off... Thing was I was expecting it and just decided to maintain direction. He didn't expect this though and ran straight into my front wheel. I just stopped and stood up, but unfortunately(not really) the kid who swurved at me fell right off his bike and rolled off the footpath. What I didn't mention before though was that this park went alongside a small river...he feel right in. I just laughed, pushed his bike out of my way and kept going. I don't what happened of him after that, but I'm sure he has stopped pulling that sort of stupidity.

Haha, i love it when "i'm so kewl >:C" kids get owned. Words cannot express the hate i have of such kids.

Anyways, epic things rarely happen to me... I guess that i have a few "lolwut" shorts, but ehh. Here's two anyhow:

I was at some target range, lying down and shooting with a bolt-action rifle... So when i had to reload, my face was a little close, and when i pulled back the bolt, it cracked me in the face. To be accurate, on my lip right at my left front tooth. It's surprising how hard that little bolt hit... It squeezed the blood entirely out of the area on my lip that it hit, and left a depression. But of course, it all healed and ♥♥♥♥, but that's irrelevant. Hardly epic, but you have to admit, it's pretty rare that someone hits himself in the face when pulling back the bolt.
There was also another time in the same target range where i think the scope of the rifle would've popped my eye if i hadn't noticed how close it was. Meh.

And at some point while i was playing soccer (haet soccer), i was about to kick the ball in mid-air, but somehow, i managed to swing my foot in a full circle around the ball without touching it. People lol'd, i didn't.
>_______________________________>

I would of waited to see what unfolded, and thrown his bike in at him. Or a breeze block, either one is good.

Fix-d

LOL, Now that reminds me of a fight I've been in, about 6 years ago. Friend of mine was pissing me off badly and we threw words at each other. He decides to push me, my bike was on the ground next to me, so I swung it at him. Being in a fit of rage, I managed to swing it head height and hit him.

I've never been in a fight since, nor would I want to given what I may use to hurt someone...

Halloween at my house.



Me [but in this story, i was standing]

I was a prop :3 [My dad makes pretty realistic dummies, so i just blend in every year.]

Well, to tell my story. These two kids come up, I assume siblings, to get candy [The bowl is in the autopsy-corpse stomach.]
The brother is like "Uh, pssst, psssst!" but the sister is all "Uh, yea, its a statue. Shut up."
I was so close to laughing, but i had to freak her out. It was a goal at this point. So, when she looked away, I leaned closer.
The brother kept on trying to tell the sister "Hey, hey! It's real, Its-" And shes like "shhh, just shut up, its fake."

I finally went about |......................................| -that close to her face, and she looked and jumped a bit, with an "Oh ♥♥♥♥, I'm dead" Face. Best moment of the night.

this one time, I got kicked in the nuts so hard that they turned blue and I had to go to the hospital.

Someone I know just had a testicle removed. Apparently he twisted it, and it just died. How I don't know...

....

why would you twist your testicle....

Anyway, pretty lame story of epic... there was a fly flying around my kitchen, so i picked up a dishtowel and was attempting to kill it. Jokingly i rat tailed in the air and i owned it. it kind of just turned into it at the last second.... the towel barely touched it and it just dropped... most crazy luck occurrence of my life

sum: i rat-tailed a fly out of the air

I'm pretty sure it was an accident. Some kids at my elementary school used to tell me about this kid who was a grade above us who did the same thing to his balls. Apparently one day in computers class he thought he could play with them and nobody would notice because the computer desks were so low to the ground, and with all the electronics underneath nobody could see. Anyways, long story short, he accidentally ties his nuts in a knot. Panic, hilarity, and eventual surgery ensued. He never came back.

Lol, that's hilarious.

This guy didn't intentionally twist his balls though, what I meant was his balls were twisted. Not sure what happened, my informer didn't answer properly...

I think it's called testicular torsion. I forgot how I know about such things. That's why people wear jock straps during sports so your little buddy doesn't up and die on you.