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 The Crobo Wars [Chapter 5] 
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Orindell
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Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:15 pm
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Location: Dublin, Ireland
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So what do really think of the story?
Tue Jun 05, 2007 8:52 pm
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capnbubs
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Write a couple of chapters worth then ask what people think, there will be a lot more for people to make their decisions on and you'll get better responses.

Right now it's a little too short to decide what I think of it!
Tue Jun 05, 2007 8:55 pm
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Orindell
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New Chapter!
Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:33 pm
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Mombasa
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Location: Florida: The Oil Capitol of the United States
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Not bad, I like it. The High Commander seemed a little too friendly to me.

Keep going!
Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:38 pm
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Orindell
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Their is gonna be a twist involing the High Commander....No spoilers though....

Posted after 2 hours 5 minutes 3 seconds:

Chapter 3 is up!
Tue Jun 05, 2007 11:45 pm
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Orindell
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Chapter four is up! Oh yeh and im gonna include as many people on the Forums as possible be calling them "Commanders"
Wed Jun 06, 2007 9:41 pm
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Dauss
A HUMAN BRAIN, SAFELY INSULATED FROM THE TERRORS OF HYPERSPACE
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Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:54 pm
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Location: Somewhere beyond the endless sea of hyperspace, fighting for your right to call a planet home.
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Well... I think the chapters are a little short, (More like paragraphs... D: ) But it's not entirely bad writing. It has a few spelling errors and typos, but mine has it's fair share so I won't bust you for it, but all in all, proper grammer is observed, and you aren't wiritin leik dis.

Keep working at it, and see if you can make those a little longer. :D
Wed Jun 06, 2007 10:50 pm
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Orindell
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Thanks!!! Coming from such a great writer that is high praise indeed!!! If you look you will see that I am trying to strech my chapters!
Wed Jun 06, 2007 11:02 pm
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