I have not (yet) tampered with the rolls. The dice are just hating on you, man.

Naw I wasn't accusing you just jokes man haha. I always get bad rolls in these games...

Troll
dragonxp: [3]
While the others explode everything and ruin stuff around you, you shut out the world and dive into the world of the spork, exploring the mysterious of the tined spoon, the magic of the plastic. Knowledge of sporks and cutlery flow through your mind, infusing you with their power. You find yourself at the edge of... something. Some sort of sporky secret that probably shapes the world. A bit more. Just a bit closer...

Character:


CrazyMLC: [4]
"Eyyyyy, are you a skeleton girl? Cause, uh, you give me a boner."
...
Dead silence.
Doubly so considering it's a skellington.
...
"OI. U. CHEEKY. CONT. U FOCKIN WOT I'LL REAM UR BUTT OPEN U SHARKFART PIGWANK."
Diplomacy has failed. Initiate punc-
"I DIDN'T SAY STOP."

Character:


TheKebbit: [4]
Well, time to settle down. You exhale, pushing all the air out of your lungs while you convert them to gills. Or, filter things. Whatever coral has. You then sink down into the water, and drift down to the ocean floor. It's not too far down thankfully, and a couple hundred feet away, you see a coral reef through the surprisingly clear water. Shifting your weight back and forth, you begin rolling over towards the coral reef, and after a few calm minutes of rolling and fish checking out the strange orb thing rolling across the ocean floor, you arrive to your new home. Wriggling your feet down into the sand and your fingers into the open water, you grow coral-y roots, anchoring yourself to the seafloor. You are one with the biome.

Character:


CaveCricket48: [3]
You continue walking along, looking for an armory. These skellingtons have to have an armory somewhere, right? They're pirates, so they need weapons. Right?
The ones you've seen so far have had weapons... right?
...
Dammit.
You notice that you've wandered quite far while thinking, and smashed apart at least two more skellingtons in your travels, including one just a moment ago. While it insults your mother and your country, you take its body and integrate the parts into your weapon, making the Wreckbone even larger and Wreckier.

Character:


caekdaemon: [1]
You find zero further secrets within the Devil Dice. In fact, they seem to be staunchly refusing your attempts, as if to spite you. Their secrets have already been laid bare, you know all there is to know of the Devil Dice. Going to need some new dice if you want to learn Diceology.

Character:


maart3n: [6]
"THE QUEEN IS DEAD, LONG LIVE KING SKELLINGTON HUNTER NOW SHUT YOUR GLABBER OR I'LL BURN YOUR BONES OFF MY SKIN! Understood?"
"OI! U KILLED THE QUEEN?! U ♥♥♥♥ HERO! ME MUM IS SAVED FROM SKELLEJAIL! MAYBEU AINT SUCH A BAD SHITGUT!"
You sprint down the hallway, somehow having pleased the skellington with your lie. You're not even sure who this queen is. Then, you suddenly find bigger problems when you run into another skellington, this one still intact. Before you can assault it with your sword again, your armor speaks up.
"OI TWITWIT! THIS BOGGLE SAYS HE KILLED THE QUEEN!"
"U WOT? 18 PENCE ON THE DIME, U HAVIN A GIGGLE M8?"
"HE'S A HONEST TO GOD PISSBUCKET HE IS!"
"Uh, yeah, pissbucket. Go me."
The new Skellington's jaw drops in awe. After it picks the jaw back up, it runs up to you and grabs you in a hug.
"GOD BLESS YOU TIGHT BUMMED PADDY!"
THIS IS WORSE THAN THEM ATTACKING YOU.

Character:


Seraphimo: [3]
You get to work, assembling smalls chunks of destroyed metal, wood splinters, and ex-hammock into power armor. Plates, rivets, screws, wires, artificial muscles, subsystems; all are formed from your busy hands and chunks of trash. Bits and pieces, small details and parts, all are formed from your craft.

You keep at it, and soon enough... Just a few finishing touches... Annnddddd... Done!
You have formed Power Armor!
Well, a tiny plastic figurine of power armor at least.

Character:


Ociamarru: [3]
You fish out your wallet from your pocket, while the orb man sinks beneath the waves. Looking inside it, you find a bunch of points cards for bubble tea places, a couple fortune cookie fortunes, and what used to be an unlaminated driver's license. Sadly, the sea water has soaked into all of them, causing the ink to run. The driver's license is still somewhat legible, and you make out...
"Bourbon Lenglay"
Interesting name. You hope it's yours.

Character:

Catch up on what the hell everyone else is doing.

And that's why you should read everyone else's rolls too, chaps.