OROROROROROROROROLL
dragonxp: [1]
Continuing your raw, untamed mastery of the Sporkish Arts, you grab two more raging fistfuls, and channel their energy into rotation, the unmatched power of the earth itself fueling your might. Let the spin of the world become to spin of your sporks, and ruin come to your enemies!
You spin in a circle, arms extended, and release the two fistfuls of sporks, sending plastic eating utensils everywhere.

Character:


CrazyMLC: [2]
IMPUDENT WINDOW! You teach it a lesson by punching it again, this time with your other bowling ball fist. It doesn't really work, considering the window was barely big enough to get one bowling ball through when there WASN'T an arm in the way. Instead, you drop the ball on your free arm, and fist the hole with your plain hand.
Well, now you've got both arms stuck out a window full of shattered glass. On the bright side, the window knows who's boss.

Character:


TheKebbit: [4]
Alright, so you can vanish small blemishes from your face. Good! Now, to completely alter your body in strange and new ways. That's easy too, right? Next step, yeah.
Willing it so, your body follows suit, and you feel changes taking place. Bones soften and reshape, limbs recede, muscles shift, organs rearrange, and soon you find yourself in the shape of a large orb, with only small vestigal fingers and toes sticking off.
Erm.
Hm. While this new form is tremendously satisfying, and you find yourself to be the absolute pinnacle of organic form...
You kind of can't move.

Character:


CaveCricket48: [2]
Immediately springing into action, you charge at the door to slam it open and give the skeleton on the other side some good ol' fashion What For! Your shoulder slams into the thin wooden barrier, and you feel it give and creak under your assault. Then, it gives and creaks in the other way, knocking you backwards onto your ass. You try again, tornado kicking the door, and this time your gold shoe flies off from the force of the door repelling your might, bounces around the cabin several times, and finally embeds itself in a nearby wall.
Grumbling about dynamic entries, you stomp over to your shoe and retrieve it from the wall.

Character:


caekdaemon: [3]
The DM goes and rolls Tiny Gods today. You seem not to notice the new Devil Dice in your inventory.

Character:


maart3n: [5]
"No wait I was kidding I want to go back inside! HELP!"
"OI CLAMP YER DUCK U LITTLE PIGFART. CAP'N PEGBEARD'LL HAVE A WORD WITH U YET."
That sounds bad. Also, how the hell do you "clamp your duck"?
Whatever. In cases like this, actions speak louder than words. Because this skellington seems to be a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, it didn't take your sword, and in fact doesn't seem to care about it at all. Well, his mistake. You quickly swing your sword upwards, with strength you didn't know you had, and embed the hooked tip in the wooden ceiling. The skeleton keeps walking for a moment, before the sword anchored in the ceiling makes it jerk to a halt and trip forwards, dropping you.
"WOT THE HELL IS THIS HERE NOW?!"
"REST IN PIECES YOU CALCIFIED ASS"
Yanking the sword free of the ceiling, you use your own strength and the sword's weight to bring it down on the prone skeleton, who screams as it realizes what's going on before being cut short as the sword slams into the bony pirate, smashing through many of its bones and embedding deep into the floor.

Character:


Seraphimo: [3]
The DM chooses to roll whenever he damn pleases.
You smash the rocks against the wall, and notice that some of them break. Some were just polished stone on the outside, but after breaking them open, you notice that a couple have crystal formations inside. Neat, geodes.
That's about it. You aren't sure what you expected, really! You now have more, smaller shiny rocks as well as fewer, larger shiny rocks, and some geodes.

Character:


Ociamarru: [1]
You listen in on the various screaming and shenanigans going on around you before being struck by a flying gold brick shoe, causing you to flail and fall out of your hammock onto your chest. With a loud pop, the inflatable false chest below you bursts.

Character:

Investigate the dice...no, wait, even better : use the dice to investigate the dice.

Brace for a black hole, chaps.

"I AM SKELINATOR! BANE OF THE UNDEAD! SLAYER OF THAT WHICH SHOULDN'T BE!"
Fashion ceremonial armor from recently slain foe.

Taking trophies has become a disturbingly common theme between my RtD characters......

>Throw a spork like a kunai at the wall

Because maybe Spork magic just doesn't want to be made.

OROROROROROROROROLL
dragonxp: [1]
Hm. Spork magic does not seem to be obeying your commands.
What about...
SPORKJUTSU!
You let a spork fly with deadly precision, aimed for a tiny knot in the wall, intending to spear it with laser-pinpoint aim.
Your spork bounces off the wall. Dammit.

Character:


CrazyMLC: [5]
ALRIGHTY BITCHWINDOW.
ROUND THREE, REVENGE OF THE LIMBS.
You really put your head to the task. And by that, I don't mean you think, but rather you apply your head at full speed to the porthole. Having primed it with both your bowling ball fists, the porthole, and most of the connected wall, explodes outward, carrying you with it. You fly into the open sky, screaming wildly amongst flying shards of wood and metal, a yawning blue abyss both far above and far below you.
Suddenly, a spot of great fortune collides with you, in the form of a large anchor being winched back up towards the ship, giving you a handhold to not fall into the endless blue sea below. It slowly inches back up as the ship goes, and after a few tense minutes, you're able to climb back into the ship, now near the front where the anchor controls are.
There is a skellington in the room with you, operating the anchors.
"EY, U A SEAGULL?"

Character:


TheKebbit: [1]
You develop slippery cilia, allowing you to slide across the world around you at will!
Wait, no, ♥♥♥♥.
Suddenly, MLC explodes the wall, and the sudden gust of wind sucks you out into the air. You fall for a while, your beautiful aerodynamic form protecting you, before splashing down in the water below quite noisily. One of the others hits the water a moment later, their less perfect and less aerodynamic form slowing their descent.

Character:


CaveCricket48: [5]
Aint got time for this nonsense. The wall behind you explodes, while you are too cool to look at the explosion and too heavy from your shoes to get sucked out. In the meantime, you proceed into the hallway and explore a bit. A skellington comes to investigate the noise after a few moments, but you're ready for it, and a swift kick embeds its skull into the wood panels of the hallway, where it continues to spew obscenity at you. The rest of the skellington collapses into a pile of Assorted Bones, which you take, and then head over to explore more. The first door you come across isn't an armory, but it is... a broom closet. Useless.
Wait. No.
NOT useless.
Take a broom, some nails, and the Assorted Bones, you arranged the bones and secure them together onto the broom, forming a large, serrated bone battleaxe, with teeth made of ribs to tear into your enemies and a broom head for a tip to clean while it kills. You take a few test swings, and find it easily tears into the walls of the ship, while also removing the wall dust from the affected area. Fabulous!

Character:


caekdaemon: [6]
You use the Devil Dice to investigate the abilities of the dice.
Oh god.
Oh GOD.
You rolled a 6 on this.
Due to the recursive nature of your action, and DM bull♥♥♥♥, the Devil Dice are now a terrifyingly potent artifact, multiplying the effect of any roll the user gets 100 fold. A roll of 2, 3, or 4 will be mostly unaffected, though will be more intense than normal.
1, 5, and 6 on the other hand, will have their effects boosted to ruinous, miraculous, and cataclysmic proportions respectively. You better be damn careful how you use these dice now, they could change the course of the world if used carelessly!

Character:


maart3n: [6]
Highly pleased with your victory, you take bits of the broken skellington and begin affixing them to your clothes, giving you the fearsome appearance of a Skellington Hunter!
"U LIL TRIPLE SMACKWAD SHITLET GOV I'LL DANGLE U IN THE FACE OF A HIPPO SWEAR ON THE QUEEN GOD BLESS"
Uh. Your clothes are talking to you now.
"U TOO U SHITEY ARSEWANK NARRATOR I'LL TURN U INSIDE OUT AND WEAR U LIKE MY SUNDAY BEST"
My word.

Character:


Seraphimo: [4]
Hm. You don't know much about rocks, but these ARE some particularly pretty ones. You place the geodes in a different pocket, they're your favorite. The others, you pile up onto one of the hammocks, in a strange attempt to make a Roll 6 machine. Aside from the problems of building a machine out of rocks on a hammock in a flying ship, the DM doesn't allow that sort of Always Roll Well shenanigans.
Well, fooey.

Character:


Ociamarru: [1]
You head over to a chest near the outer wall, searching it for any loot.
Empty. Damn.
Suddenly, the wall before you explodes violently, and you and two others are sucked out into the air screaming. The round one falls very quickly, owing to his strange but streamlined shape, and splashes down a bit before you do.
By the way, you fall all the way down to the water and hit with a mighty splash, raining spray down for dozens of feet in every direction. Judges award 9.3/10.

Character:

>Become one with the spork

I'm suspicious of my rolls now. HKU, you don't want me to develop spork magic do you?