pistachios drive me nuts

Two penises.

Pretty dongers, walking down the street.

Pretty dongers, the kind I like to meet.

I just got the joke. I blame my ISP.

I just made a coffee, and I didn't realize I was out of sugar, so...I improvised and put orange jam into my coffee, hoping it'd improve the flavor.

♥♥♥♥ hell, it tastes like burnt jaffa cakes. This is honest to god the worst thing I have ever tasted.

Orange jam? In your coffee? Next time record it and upload it to youtube lol.

I'm afraid it wasn't much of a sight :p The jam completely melted; there wasn't any goo or anything in the coffee, just a horrific taste.

If anyone here has a reddit account, mind throwing some upvotes my way for this competition entry? You'd be doing me a bigger favor, and in exchange I'd gladly write something small for you

Reddit is a cesspool of reapplied ideas and blasting your ego at others because a lot of other people "agree" with certain posts of yours.
No, not because I don't like you, I do like you, you're a great person, but because I would rather tear my ears off than sign up for it.

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;u;

For what it counts, I agree with you a hundred percent :p I don't like posting on Reddit often - the place is a hellhole for the most part - even if there are a few small subreddits that aren't filled to the brim with reposts and random junk...and of course, I can't help but post for competitions like that one

Judging Reddit by the default subreddits is like judging 4chan by /b/.
Or the US by Fox News.

i go on reddit for certain game subreddits because /vg/ is 60% shitposting, 30% esports, 10% actually good stuff