Anyone who hasn't read the complete works of Terry Pratchett should probably stop whatever boring bull♥♥♥♥ they're currently doing and do that

Complete works?
Boy that's a lot
And I've only read the Colour of Magic...

See that is where I think you are mistaken, while it is true that many books do simply exist to tell you a story about a man killing dragons, just as many use the realm of fiction to examine the human condition and, yes, different approaches to understanding the world around you.
Not every book has a moral but plenty of them will clearly demonstrate an author's way of thinking or ideal view of what a person should be or do. Become widely read in all realms of fiction and you'll have tasted hundreds of different perspectives on how a person should view the world and what they are expected to do with their life.

It's also much less galling to swallow philosophy entwined with a narrative than it is to read someone literally telling you how to think!

You're entitled to your own opinion but that doesn't mean I can't tell you when it's a bit silly.
If you want to artificially limit yourself for no particular reason though, there's no way I can actually stop you.

Also, Joseh, to say that you don't want to read fiction because you don't like artificial stories becaues you're not artificial is extremely confusing. Much of the time the stories can be more real than any non-fiction book. They don't call it "getting into a book" for no reason. When I read, I feel like I'm there. I don't think about the text on the page, I think about what's going to happen with the my best friend the main character (or if the story is really really interesting, my least favorite person, the protagonist). I remember reading the first Flashman novel and accidentally throwing the book in frustration and glee at the wall at one point when Flashman is deemed a hero near the end-ish (If you've read the book, you'd understand.)