This place is so lonely. MDMA

Creativity, it's a known fact that grass increases creativity
from eight, to eleven times. In fact, everyone finds that they're
more creative stoned, than straight. So remember!
M-A-R-I-J-U --- A-J-U-A-N-A
marie - whana - marijuana

HOLY ♥♥♥♥ THI IS IS IS AAMAZING>

What you on, boy?

My dope video

Yo, I'm on probation now (well it's been a couple months), and I've got seven months to go. As part of this, I get randomly drug-tested. I've been clean the last three goddamn tests they've given me but they keep on coming back diluted so my PO isn't letting up on the tests any time soon.

It's sucked not being able to smoke, especially because the majority of my friends smoke so half the time I chill with people, I play the Let's-Watch-Errybody-Get-High game. That game isn't very fun, believe it or not. I don't plan on smoking spice, because I've seen a guy pass out for tens of hours from a hit o' that ♥♥♥♥, plus a friend of mine recently died after having a seizure and drowning in the Wisconsin River, after smoking some spice.

I've heard so many goddamn different things about beating drug tests that it's ridiculous. Some of my friends think I can go ahead and smoke and I'll be clean in a couple days, whereas others have told me it'd show up dirty after anything less than two weeks. And I dunno if I really wanna test the waters with niacin, because if it ends up not working and I fail ANY tests, I'll have to take some narcotics rehabilitation program that'll end up costing somewhere around $3,000.

Can anybody chime in here, preferably those with personal experience, on how to beat urinalysis, or if I'm just gonna have to wait until May?

Yes.
Don't take drugs. You'll pass every test.
Unless you eat a poppy seed bagel, but don't eat those.

I've heard anecdotally that urine tests are accurate up to a month or two, and rather sensitive.
If you want to pass the test, you probably have to stay clean. I'm no expert however.

Nah, Duh, I got my first pee-pee test like two weeks after I stopped smoking and it didn't come up dirty. Two weeks is a ♥♥♥♥ gamble though, when your PO can show up at school any time and just drag you to a bathroom and have you piss in a cup for her. Man, it sucks if that's the case, the only things freely available in my area that wouldn't show up are DXM and alcohol.

Then don't do any until your probation is over? That's one way to not go to rehab and have to spend $3,000.

Don't do drugs, and drug tests will say you didn't do drugs.
Magic!

For the record, I wouldn't have to go to rehab (my friend did for his HORRIBLE POT ADDICTION, instead of his actually-problematic opiate dependency, that ♥♥♥♥ was like $16 G's but it was covered by health insurance, my thing would be too but ♥♥♥♥ me I don't have any), just something that's basically a Narcotics Anonymous kinda thing. I'd get assessed for risk of repeated use or relapse or whatever you wanna call it, then have to go to meetings where people told me how drugs are bad and lead to a life of failure and delinquency, and I'd get my locker/bags searched semi-frequently at school, along with weekly drug tests. Then the g'ummint would have me foot the bill. Woohoo!

Just drink and guzzle cough syrup. Duh.
Just kidding, don't guzzle cough syrup. Do drink though.

Drug tests test for the presence of the chemicals which THC and other cannabinoids are metabolized into via your kidneys, which is why they're in your urine. The rate at which the THC is metabolized into these chemicals and excreted is, surprise surprise, very dependent on your metabolic rate. A heavy smoker will be putting THC into his body faster than it can be metabolized and excreted, so he will piss dirty for longer. An occasional smoker doesn't have any reservoir to get rid of, so he will piss clean sooner. Heavy exercise and drinking a lot of water will help, and the guide above is your bible. Decide for yourself if it's worth the risk, and don't give 'em your first pee of the day, as the metabolites will be more concentrated.

As for the rest of you, don't ♥♥♥♥ in my ♥♥♥♥ thread. He's not stupid, I'm sure he is very well aware of the very difficult to figure out and clever solution of "don't smoke drugs and you'll piss clean", hard as that may be to believe. As interesting, informative, and worth posting as those posts (MULTIPLE ♥♥♥♥ POSTS, PEOPLE) are, this thread is for information, by people who know what the ♥♥♥♥ they're talking about (me, none of you), and if you don't KNOW for a FACT what you're talking about, don't ♥♥♥♥ post, especially some HILARIOUS JOKES that you think are SO FUNNY.

And don't post shitty unfunny videos that are old as dirt, CrazyMLC. Your mom's friend was addicted to weed and I told you I would never let you live that down.

Harzipan, why the ♥♥♥♥ is my name in your signature?