Fool, I have +10 pointy hat resistance thanks to my anti-magical-garment-underpants.

I throw you in a river.

Ha! Little did you know (or care to notice) that I have gills! I am a merman!

I also happen to use a harpoon crossbow! I shoot that at your face.

My face is a vestigal leftover from evolution into a derp.

i n00bspk @ u

ur a n00b

I burst your eardrums.

I am wearing ear plugs,

I pull out a flamethrower and shoot a burst of flames at you. BURN!

i am in the water
dummy

i shoot you with explosions

But my fire has such a high tempature, that it evaporates the entire river, causing third degree burns on 98% of your body. Making you unable to shoot your explosions.

I visit you in the hospital with flowers.

The hug is welcome, and returned.

I share my get well soon chocolates with you.

I accept the chocolate, and pull my flowers off the table, and pull a 454 Cassul raging bull revolver.

I aim the gun at your head, and you dont notice it, i pull the trigger.

The bullet flattens like a marshmallow against my impenetrably thick skull.

I don my space-age earmuffs and play harsh wall noise at maximum volume.

I still had my ear-muffs on, which happen to be space age.

I re-load my revolver, and shoot you with kryptonite rounds.

I am not superman so the same thing happens.

I crush your revolver and throw it at you.

I pull up my sheild, blocking the crushed remains of the revolver.

I activate an orbital plasma nuke failsafe, it will obliterate everything both exsistant, non exsistant, and everything inbetween in 4 turns.

I construct a time machine to house the blast.

I direct it to precisely 5 turns from now and aim it at you.

I construct a SECOND time machine, so when the blast goes off, its just reflected back into your time machine, infinitely.


I fire a super soaker water gun, filled with a combinaton of Data's piss, and napalm, and hold a lighter infront of the nozzle.