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unwoundpath [4]
YOU DON'T HAVE AN EMERGENCY TELEPORTER Oh wait nitrous.
You stomp on the gas pedal with your hand and press a little red button by your shift stick, and your car LEAPS forward, plowing through the gang. You make it a good 12 blocks before plowing through the glass front of a furniture store.
An ottoman goes through your windshield.
Status:
- Owner

caekdaemon [7]
The delicious Maple Syrup flows into your veins, and you absorb the power of the Great White North.
You gain a +1 to rolls!
Abilities:
- Animal Magnetism
- Human Female Magnet
- Tentacles
- Maple Blood (+1 to rolls)
Inventory:
- Sworddick
Status:
- Treestuck

Glowsticks (Bjorn Svenson) [5]
YOU FIRE A SUPER ANTI COP BLAST.
HALF THE POLICE ARE NOW DEAD. YOUR BLAST ONLY HIT 1 HALF OF THE PLANET.
YOU DECIDE TO TAKE A BEARNAP.
Inventory:
- Ski Mask
Status:
- ♥♥♥♥ THE POLICE I'M A BEAR

Izen [10]
"Cool. Make them stop being alive."
"YES SIR!"
The submarine bursts into activity, and within 10 minutes a nuclear missile is fired upon each badguy. Huge detonations rock the ocean, sending massive radioactive waves everywhere. Several nearby coastal towns are wiped out, with radioactive contamination leaving them uninhabitable for years.
The incident is blamed upon the Swedes.

Natti (Harald Olafson) [-]
Gregory enters a Martial Trance!
Gregory punches the Lower Torso!
The Lower Torso explodes into gore!
Gregory falls asleep for his nap!
Daww...
Status:
- Wolverine Momma

Harzipan (LORD BARNABY TERROR OF BLUEMOON MANSE) [8]
"BOW DOWN MORTALS. I DEMAND A TEMPLE!"
Those ♥♥♥♥♥es get scared of you DAMN quick, and you've never seen people hustle to construct something faster.
Elsewhere in the world, the owner of a certain McDonalds perks up, his claim to Fastest Built Structure challenged.
Abilities:
- LAVA LEGS

Nighthawk (Pablo) [-]
You activate Super Saiyan, and combined turn into TEENAGE MUTANT ALIEN SUPER SAIYAN TURTLE PABLO.
You then mutilate all the LAWYERS. To pieces.
Hmm.
"You guys were all weak. Not to be mean or anything, I'm just... saiyan.
Inventory:
- Spear

CrazyMLC [2]
You exist a bit. You're kinda incorporeal.

Protip: Reincarnation or taking over where your char left off is allowed.

Then why didn't it work last roll >:U

BECAUSE YOU HAD JUST DIED

Ok so I missed that expressly written rule that returning after one turn was not allowed then.
YES YOU DID.