RORTORTOR

Roast Veg (Bodil Bodilson) [10]
You find yourself floating above some white fluffy clouds. Everything feels... nice. Where the hell are you?
Hello Bodil.
...Who said that.
Status:
- Monkey King
- Cunning Disguise
- DEADS

unwoundpath [9]
Your empire must grow.
You recruit the staff as slaves, and have them simultaneously haul bricks and cook food, while you oversee the creation of your new McDonalds. The best part? THEY LOVE THEIR JOBS. You are TRULY a god of management to make people love working at McDonalds. You are very quickly promoted to the Owner of the new McDonalds!
Your old manager sheds a single manly tear of pride, his young bird finally old enough to leave the nest and fly on his own.
Status:
- Owner

caekdaemon [3]
You try again anyway, causing your legs to run at the Wolverine.
This time the SMALL wolverine murders you with Dorf Fu, stringing your entrentacles between street lamps like Christmas decoractions.
Abilities:
- Animal Magnetism
- Human Female Magnet
- Tentacles
Inventory:
- Sworddick
Status:
- OW.

Tomaster [-]
You drive your car to the nearest liqueur store, seeing a giant wolverine enter as you do. You're more than a bit concerned by that actually, those ♥♥♥♥ are murderously strong. You decide to wait the wolverine out a bit. You keep a hand on your trusty gun just in case.
Inventory:
- 3 Armed ♥♥♥♥♥es
- Piece

Glowsticks (Bjorn Svenson) [-]
YOU EAT THIS MONKEY POLICEMAN GUY.
HIS ORGANS FUEL YOUR RAGE AND ENDLESS STRENGTH.
TIME TO MURDER SOME MORE PEOPLE.
Inventory:
- Ski Mask
Status:
- ♥♥♥♥ THE POLICE I'M A BEAR

Izen [3]
"My first order as new captain is that all prisoners will be released."
"Sir, we HAVE no prisoners."
"What about me?!"
"You're the captain sir, not a prisoner."

Miggles [10]
You are now KATE PORRY, famus songmaker.
Status:

Natti (Harald Olafson) [6]
Gregory enters a Martial Trance!
Gregory punches the Lower Torso!
The Lower Torso explodes into gore!
Gregory falls asleep for his nap!
Daww...
Status:
- Wolverine Momma

nicolasx (John Johnson Smith Smitherson) [1]
You are annoyed.
"Darn."
You are ripped to small chunks by the hungry bear.
Your Inventory:
- Your Tracking Software
- Your Broken Shark Tooth Revolver
Your Status:
- YOU ARE DEAD

Harzipan (LORD BARNABY TERROR OF BLUEMOON MANSE) [7]
No volcanic island is complete without a tribe of natives. And look, there's one now! You fire LAVA out of your LEGS, and fly up into the air, accidentally raining terror and destruction down upon their straw huts. They worship you as a volcano god out of fear.
Abilities:
- LAVA LEGS

Nighthawk (Pablo) [10]
You take off in the Pablomobile, which actually drives wherever the ♥♥♥♥ it wants.
Luckily for you, you end up in Lawyerland. You stab the first one you see, who hisses before dying and bursting into flame, then quickly burning into a pile of ash. Immediately, a loud cacaphony of hisses erupts from the island from all the lawyers hissing simultaneously. Behind you, the Pablomobile takes off on its own.
Well, you're stuck on an island with thousands of deadly, pissed off Lawyers, with no way of escaping. SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE TO YOU.
Inventory:
- Spear

Somehow make it?

if not il just reapply later.

Nope, you rolled a 1, you are deads.

OK
Will reapply later.
Thanks for the fun the first time.