So as to maintain the illusion of being responsible, rolling.

Roast Veg (Bodil Bodilson) [6]
"This looks exactly like the guy I've been tracking. Goes by the name of Bodil Bodilson. Any hints on where he went next officer?"
"Ahh, you ARE good. No wonder they called you in. Well, by the looks of this body, I'd say he hasn't gotten far. It's still pretty fresh. Maybe lock down the entire area, let nobody in or out, get a bunch of officers and the K9 unit."
Before you can respond, two pens come out of nowhere, stabbing you in the neck quite painfully. You begin shrieking in pain, and your new partner spins around and pulls out his gun.
"FREEZE!"

Status:
- Monkey King
- Cunning Disguise

unwoundpath [4]
"Well, he kinda had to clean up a dead fish, crying about 'this is the best day of his life,' so, work?"
"Hmm. Sounds more like the "My life is only going down from here" variety of sobbing, but either way. Tell them to stop sobbing, and then I've got a package that needs delivering. Take it to the Burger King down the road."

Status:
- Assistant Manager

caekdaemon [5]
Hmm. You look around, and get a funny feeling from a nearby midget riding a giant badger.
"Sorry, ladies. Got to run."
They cry out, and try to grab your legs so you can't run, but you escape their grasps, and leap through the air at him.
The giant badger thing swats you out of the air, your stomach ripped open from its claws and organs strewn across the ground.
Well, by organs, you mean a bunch of tentacles. Your interior is all tentacle based now. Still hurts like a ♥♥♥♥♥.

Abilities:
- Animal Magnetism
- Human Female Magnet
- Tentacles
Inventory:
- Sworddick
Status:
- Tentacle Organs Strewn Everywhere

Tomaster [7]
You ask one of them about a Chevy Avalanche.
"Ahh, a FINE vehicle! I drive one myself in fact! Got it parked right out in back, and my keys are right here in my pocket!"
... Ok, even YOU can't complain about that price.
*BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM*
Free! You take the keys out of one of the cowboy chunks' pocket, then head around back and hop into your new ride. Oh man, this thing is niiiice. Heated leather seats, integrated car-computer thingamabob, speakers the size of your head... a gun rack?
A gun rack.
You peel out from the dealership, making sure to drive over the grass on your way out.

Inventory:
- 3 Armed ♥♥♥♥♥es
- Piece

Glowsticks (Bjorn Svenson) [4]
♥♥♥♥ YOU I'M A BEAR I DO WHAT I WANT
AND I WANT TO EAT SOME ♥♥♥♥♥es
SO YOU EAT SOME ♥♥♥♥♥es. YOU EAT THEM TO PIECES.
OM NOM ♥♥♥♥

Inventory:
- Ski Mask
Status:
- ♥♥♥♥ THE POLICE I'M A BEAR

Izen [3]
You do your best to just eat the sammich for the second, and it occupies all your attention. You know, for being a submarine, this is a pretty good sammich. You guess submarine sammiches aren't half bad.

Miggles [8]
You become Justin Bieber.

Natti (Harald Olafson) [9]
THIS WILL NOT DO AT ALL.
You suddenly find yourself at a booze store in a non-ghost town. You're not sure how you got here, probably via the powers of 9. In any case, you leap off your Wolverine Mount and head in, quickly grabbing a few bottles of booze while your Wolverine mauls somebody outside. As you're ringing your bottles up, your stomach rumbles once more, this time painfully. You drop to your knees, clutch your stomach, and then the most horrific thing in the history of rectal trauma occurs.
As you lie on the ground, gingerly holding your overstretched ass, you notice there is now a tiny baby wolverine next to you!
...
Wait.
WAIT.
Did. Did that just actually happen. Are. Are you a momma?
Status:
- Wolverine Momma

nicolasx (John Johnson Smith Smitherson) [7]
You say out loud.
"Found one."
You take two pens from your breast pocket, and using your amazing throwing skills, you throw the pens at the large policeman. You watch as they embed themselves in his neck, and he screams in pain.
You smile.
You then stop smiling and wonder why the large policeman is still screaming and not dying.

Your Inventory:
- Your Tracking Software

Harzipan (LORD BARNABY TERROR OF BLUEMOON MANSE) [3]
"FEAR ME HUMANS. THE WRATH OF BARNABY IS UPON YOU."
Hmm. How exactly do wings work?
OH HELLO THERE LAVA YOU'RE QUITE HOT AND BURNING MY LEGS OH GOD SOMEBODY HELP I FELL IN

Nighthawk (Pablo) [5]
You are Pablo, the 5th Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Your color is Green, and you are named after Pablo Picasso. Inadvertently, you have picked up a Spanish accent. You wield your spear like a boss, ready to smite the evil... evil guys? Who the hell DO the TMNTs fight besides Shredder?

Inventory:
- Spear

Lava? :c

Gain LAVA BASED POWERS from absorbing the lava. Through my legs.