No limets eh?
My name is John Johnson Smith Smitherson
I am an assasin; an assasin of RTD characters.
I start at Mcdonalds the drivethrough the "Controller" unwoundpath works at.

Walk in. Ask for the ask for chicken.

MY NAME IS:
like a boss

Hop the counter, and task my two ♥♥♥♥♥es to finding Everclear.
Why aren't my nostril spider eggs included my inventory?

Because your nostrils aren't your inventory, they're your nostrils.
Also rolling.

Roast Veg (Bodil Bodilson) [-]
People keep being afraid of you... This won't do at all, a king cannot be feared by his subjects unless he is an iron-fisted despot. You grab a policeman by the color, drag him kicking and screaming into a nearby alleyway, and several scream-filled, blood splattering, bone crunchy minutes later, a 10 foot tall very stretched looking policeman exits the alley.
Status:
- Monkey King
- Cunning Disguise

unwoundpath [7]
You go home and decide to play some Battle Call: Field of Duty: Modern Warfighter 3.
The moment you join a match at least 3 12-year old brats start screaming obscenities into the microphones and teabag the ground.
You are also headshot'd. Twice.
"I love this game."
Status:
- Assistant Manager

caekdaemon [10]
You turn off your Animal Magnetism, and turn on your Human Female Magnetism. Suddenly, women are yanked off their feet, and fly through the air towards you. The first rams into your back, knocking you forward into the second, who smothers your face in her ample chest. The women continue to multiply, until you're buried and immobile inside a katamari of squirming moaning womanflesh.
This is acceptable.
Status:
- Sworddick
- Animal Magnetism
- Human Female Magnet

Nighthawk (Geoffry) [4]
You growl hungrily and attempt to look comfortable, but no new victims approach. Hrmm. Maybe you need to add some... appeal?
Status:
- Demonic Armchair

Tomaster [9]
You hop the counter, and look under it quickly. Absinthe? Nope. Jack Daniels? Nope. Hand Sanitizer? Nope.
"AHA!"
You grab the bottle of Everclear, and look up to see one of the patrons at the bar has some sushi. You're not sure where they got it, but it gives you an idea. You grab the wasabi off the patron's plate, throw it into a small bowl, pour some Everclear in, mix the stuff up, and wipe off your fingers because the concoction was eating through your skin a little.
"BOTTOMS UP!"
You take a straw from behind the counter, bite most of it off, and use it to snort half the slurry into each nostril.
Your nose then begins emitting a thick white smoke, and a few seconds later you sneeze. Out flies a large amount of white powder, and a long furry insectile leg. The lady you took the wasabi from screams at the leg.
Inventory:
- 2 ♥♥♥♥♥es

Glowsticks (Bjorn Svenson) [10]
You, BJORN SVENSON, grab the now-loaded bags, explode the doors of the bank off, and swagger on out of there.
Riiiiight into a huge circle of police cars surrounding the bank. Man, New Assburg's Police are damn good. You pop up a telekinetic shield for defense.
Inventory:
- Ski Mask
Abilities:
- Telekinesis

Izen [2]
You're still unconscious, and by the sounds of things, still being beaten with the butt of a rifle. That's not good, not good at all!

Miggles [-]
Your actions become completely incomprehensible! Even more than before!

Natti (Harald Olafson) [2]
"Hey! You! Wolverine! I didn't do anything with you last night, did I?"
The wolverine looks over at you lazily, then bats its eyelashes, blushes, and looks away embarrassed.

nicolasx (John Johnson Smith Smitherson) [4]
You are John Johnson Smith Smitherson. Your job is assassin. Assassin of Roll to Dodge characters.
You walk into the McDonalds a known character works at. There is glass and water and dead fish all over the floor, but nobody here. It's 3 AM.
You ask for the chicken.

Zebten (LIKEABOSS) [1]
You find yourself at the top of a skyscraper, about to leap off and end your life. You then leap off and end your life, plummeting to an untimely and explosive death on the pavement. There is blood and gore streaking the sides of buildings and streets for a good 2 blocks now.

"Vwell. Hello dere." Use everything and everything to create a massive burst of shrapnel into the po-po.

Sign me up as LORD BARNABY. TERROR OF BLUEMOON MANSE.

Im not really dead.I IS A NECROMORPH! >run to the nearest person, kill him, and absorb his body into my cold, dead body."SCREEEEEEECH"
Nope, you died. Can't rejoin until the turn after next either, and you'll need to use a new character.