The machine makes a whirring noise, then displays a message that says, "Out of Order."

I insert a wyvern egg.

You get A can of drink and some change, some of which is taken back by me seeing as it was still in the machine, but not spent.

I insert the change again and press the second button down.

You get a plastic bag labeled "Crunchy Munchies." It crunches noisily in your hands, begging for its contents to be opened and eaten.

I insert a Mithril Bastard Sword of Frost +5.

You get Large Sacks of electrum Coins

I Insert the Artist Lemonfont.

You get Explosive Lemons

I Insert A Thermobaric ICBM

You get Hippies, and a free lunch.

I insert 5 septims.

You receive the Dragonsock, A sock born of dragons.

I insert my recently broken headphones.

You get a silencer. Unfortunately you do not possess a handgun with which to use it.

I pull out my fancy-shmancy spider robot with a tiny video camera attached to it and send it down into the depths of the machine....

You get a pair of socks.

I insert DRL forums and a pack of Acti-Boost(the forums activity booster!)

You get the CTDVE. (Complete Terrain Destruction and Vehicle Engine.)
I insert Legos.

You get Polly Styrene pellets!

I Insert The Vending Machine INTO the Vending Machine

You divided by zero, you get nothing.

I insert Congress.

you get a flange of baboons(http://www.rinkworks.com/words/collective.shtml)

I insert a token for free soda

You get 10 tokens for free soda, unfortunately it seems that all they give you is more free tokens.

I insert a killer smile.

You get a frowning defibrillator.

I insert a bag of broken glass.