You receive the same robber. Criminals are not accepted as legal tender.

I insert a wombat wearing a bulletproof vest.

You get a dead wombat with a completely pierced bulletproof vest.

I insert a revenge.

You get a bottle of Coolent.

Tricorns or Semki

You get lolwut?
I insert a Nuke

You get "Hey Ring-a-ding-ding"

I insert 400,000 dollars and twelve seconds.

You get a can of Bonk.

I insert a quarter on a string.

The quarter comes out.

I insert a letter to Santa.

You get a lump of high-quality pure anthracite coal.

I insert my left pinky finger.

You get ONE FREE CYBERNETIC PINKIE FINGER. ALL GLORY TO THE MACHINE. BEEP BOOP.

I insert a robot. That Transforms into a boot.

You get a boot. That transforms into another, smaller boot.

I insert an unladen European swallow.

You get candy.

I insert a pencil.

There is a noise from the inside of the machine, and the smell of freshly cut wood. It dispenses a sharpened pencil.

I insert a flux capacitor.

The machine launches off, then disappears, leaving behind a trail of flame.
It reappears not a second later, and parks itself just where it was before.

I insert a pair of desert eagles (the guns).

You get nothing, words are not a legal tender for bartering

I insert a Toy of the ,ahem, "nighttime"

You get a little plastic light-up sun. Accessory clouds sold separately.

I insert a smaller novelty vending machine.