Was too.
Rolling.
EDIT: I literally fell asleep in my chair while rolling, multiple times, then somehow accidentally deleted half the roll, including all I'd done so far. I'll roll proper tomorrow.
EDIT 2: Properly rolling now.

CaveCricket48 (Raphael) [5]:
You aim towards a rapidly approaching shark and fire. The slug makes a ragged red hole about the size of a tennis ball in the shark's side, but it doesn't stop running. So, you start firing buckshot shells at full speed. The shark's body becomes covered in red flecks as the pellets rip through its skin, but the shark refuses to stop. It leaps for you, but you easily sidestep it, and it lands on its face on the ground behind where you just were. You have 1 shell left in your shotgun.


Ociamarru (Vadim Ivanov) [9+1=10]:
"I am too busy trying not to die to banter with you!"
Suddenly, there is a shark right in your face. Suddenly, a large warhammer is also in your face, and the shark attempts to bite the warhammer. It vanishes, taking the shark's forward momentum with it, and reappears in your hands, momentum intact. The hammer causes you to spin around, swinging the hammer harder as you do, and you drive it into the side of the shark's head. You hear a wet crunch, and the shark goes barreling over the ground, literally rolling in mid air. It lands, and lays still. You notice that the now dead shark is missing an arm and most of a leg. And several chunks of flesh from its body.


Tokochiro (Mana) [1]:
You take out your M32 and two fragmentation grenades, but trying to hold 3 things with 2 hands doesn't quite work. You drop one grenade, then drop the other trying to catch it, and then drop your M32 trying to pick the grenades up. Panicking, you look up, and see that the 5 sharks that can still move are all attacking others. Everyone else is also having much better luck than you.


Amazigh ("Amazigh") [9]:
You fire your autocannon at the now-flaming shark. This time, all 4 rounds are close enough to hit. And hit they do, with deadly force. The combined force of 2 projectiles ripping into the shark and 2 more HEI rounds detonating in the shark's face finally bring it down. The shark falls to its knees, then faceplants and lies still, burning. God that probably stinks. All of a sudden, one of the sharks you WEREN'T paying attention to lunges at you. You manage to raise your armored arm in time to block the bite, and the shark chomps down on it, then starts attempting to shake it and break your arm off.


Tomaster (Vladimír Shurla) [10+1=10]:
"No witty banter? Come on guys."
The sharks are too spread out to simply fire at where they will be, so you direct your missiles towards one of the sharks you shot before. They fire forward, each with the approximate strength of a large firecracker. They hit the shark in the side in a deliciously destructive rhythm, and you see that the shark has lost an arm, a good portion of a leg, and several chunks of flesh from its side. The shark has also started screaming in pain. You then turn your attention back to the one still approaching you in the front. It's surprisingly close, and you fire both main cannons directly into it. It staggers back from the force of the shots. You fire again, and it staggers once more, falling to one knee and beginning to scream. You fire one last salvo into the shark, this time with both cannons aimed for the shark's head.
The shots fly true, and the shark ceases its screams. It flops to the floor lifelessly.


caekdaemon (VN Warrior) [4]:
You keep your autocannon spun up and fire on the still running sharks, but many shots miss or are dodged by the sharks. The angle you're firing at is getting to where you can't fire and be sure that the rounds will hit the shark and not pass over or under or past the target. You stop firing to conserve ammo, since it doesn't seem to be getting much done anyway.


Game Events: Half of the sharks are dead, and only one has no crippling injuries.
1 Undamaged Shark attacking Amazigh.
1 Injured Shark attacking CC48.
1 Crawling Shark attacking Tokochiro.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why witty banter is essential. Vadim, youse a ♥♥♥♥♥. Witty banter is vital.
Watch the progress of the other guys. If someone needs help, shoot their shark. Otherwise, be smug.
Want to start a body count for the players? Since we're going with small amounts of enemies, it'd be nice.

Rolleeng.

CaveCricket48 (Raphael) [4]:
You rush over to the shark and plant your foot on its neck, then bring your Spas down to point at its head. As you do, the shark bucks, throwing off your aim just as you squeeze the trigger. The last round in your shotgun fires into the ground just to the side of the shark's head, and it spins around so that your foot is in its mouth. Then, suddenly, your foot is gone.


Ociamarru (Vadim Ivanov) [10]:
You see Amazigh getting thrashed by a shark, so you run over towards him to help. On your way, you form a psionic blade in your hand, as big as possible without compromising sharpness. You get an ugly as sin square-with-a-triangle-on-top sword, but when you swing it, it slices through the shark's flesh like butter. Your slash cuts the shark's left arm and a good portion of its shoulder off, causing it to let go of Amazigh.
And then turn towards you.


Tokochiro (Mana) [6]:
Getting a stupid idea, you run up closer to the crawling shark. Damn, it's pathetic. The thing is wheezing and can barely even move along the ground. You give it a bit of mercy by yanking out one of its eyes with your telekinesis. It comes out with a wet pop, and the shark screams even louder. You crouch down, pull out your Glock, and fire 3 rounds into the open socket. The first round goes in with no effect, the second one makes the shark stop screaming, and the third is just for good measure.
Yep. It's dead.


Amazigh ("Amazigh") [3]:
The shark on your arm continues thrashing, throwing your aim off significantly. A shot from your Plasma Caster aimed for the shark's face ends up flying through the air, then disappearing. Suddenly, the shark's arm vanishes, and it lets go of your arm, screams, and turns around. FREEDOM!


Tomaster (Vladimír Shurla) [6]:
"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why witty banter is essential. Vadim, youse a ♥♥♥♥♥. Witty banter is vital."
Smugsmugsmugsmugsmug.


caekdaemon (VN Warrior) [5]:
"WHAT IS THIS WITTY BANTER YOU SPEAK OF?"
You turn around in place, hunting for sharks to shoot. Sadly, any that you see are either already dead or too close to friendlies to safely fire at.


Game Events:
1 One-Armed Shark attacking Ociamarru.
1 Injured Shark attacking CC48.

Uh...why does Cave have a zombie infection all of a sudden?

Psionic wall between me and shark - add firing hole through which I shoot the shark with my handgun.

That's what happens when a zombie bites you.

Zombie sharks.