Death by frosting hemorrhage.

"why do they call it a hack saw? It doesn’t hack; hacking is what I do with an axe. This is a saw. I don’t get it."
>Cut off Tomasters legs with a Hacksaw


Learn to ponies.

> Find a map of where Ponyville is. Have to deliver those cupcakes to it after all.

I think for being an idiot ♥♥♥hole, but it may be related to using lightish-red colours and possibly for being Russian.

An' only Ehmerrycan English? Mate, tha's not gonna work. Jus' use English in genral an it'll be grate fo' evryone, even those from non-Ehmerrycan contrees. But coloured text is jus' crappy, I agree. Stick with white - its there fo' a reason.

I awso demand tha' I get a place in this game. Ma character's name shall be Yocat an I shll be a Loyer fo' the great Mehr Amazingeh.

Text made to look like an accent is the main problem here, ya blight'as.
Also, HK, rawl more often, it should be easier with only two outcomes.

Out of curiosity and to further avoid offending anyone, what bits of me were being idiot ♥♥♥holes?

(I was the one who edited all those posts to say that, but I wasn't quite sure exactly what was the offensive bit so I just got rid of everything.)

Take it to PMs I'd say. The only things I can see are the text color and hard to read accented text.

Rolling, now with added coin.

Bentus [0]: You press a button on your intercom, opening the line to your secretary, Ms. Duh. You tell her to send out a few orders to various city planning and construction cabinets that you carefully chose. The gist of your orders involve moving high value residential and commercial areas closer together, with higher education facilities near those. You're congregating the wealth, and banishing the less fortunate to the edges of your fine, fine city.
Inventory:
- Godly Schrodinger's Cupcake
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Mayor of Purrolia

Amazigh [1]: "Why do they call it a hack saw? It doesn’t hack; hacking is what I do with an axe. This is a saw. I don’t get it."
You pull a hacksaw out of a nearby trashcan, in your hobo alley. That Tomaster over there has raided your bins for the last time... Just as you're about to apply the first stroke to the sleeping Cathobo's legs, he shoots upright, one eye glowing a blinding white light. Tomaster then begins bellowing in a thundering voice that shakes the earth.
"I AM ODIN, MASTER OF glerp"
You whack him on the head with your hacksaw, causing the glerp. Tomaster ceases glowing, and the hacksaw vanishes.
Inventory:
- ALL of the cupcakes, except a few
Abilities:
Conditions:

Tomaster [1]: You wake up from some sort of trance with a bleeding gash on your head. You also have a strange desire to worship a pantheon of badass gods lead by a hacksaw.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Bleeding Head (Death in 5 turns)

Duh102 [0]: After taking a bit of dictation and sending out a few orders for Mr. Dau- Mr. Bentus, you turn on your computer and enter Ponyville into Google Meowps, er, Maps. Damnable cat puns.
You then print out a copy of the map, for future reference.
Inventory:
- Map to Ponyville
Abilities:
Conditions:

Roast Veg [0]: You see your fellow Cathobos, Amazigh and Tomaster raise a ruckus, so you go to see what's up this time. You're always acting as the mediator between those two idiots.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:

Game Events: Sorry Natti, but Veg posted first, and you aren't Grif. Next time someone dies though...

lulz
NO U.

It took me longer than I'd like to admit for me to see the mistake in that.

> Find the cupcake delivery chute, and prepare to trek to Ponyville. Acquire journeying companions of the Equine sort.