Holy ♥♥♥♥, you guys got a fantastic roll this time.

CaveMLCricket [6-1-1=4]: "In case of emergency, break out the hax."
You retrieve the Crystallized Insanity from your backpack. You put it up to your forehead, and can feel its energies pulsing gently against your mind, if that makes sense. Then, you relax.
All is made clear.
2/2 Active Abilities:
- Perfected Elemental Kinesises (Fire, Air, Water, Earth, Light, Electricity)
--- #-Point Star
--- Kinetic Trance
--- Healing Light
- Insane (3 turns remaining)
2/2 Passive Abilities:
- Mythical Power
- Ultra Mind
4/4 Inventory:
- Small amount of precious metal
- Chunk of Dark Stone
- Wiffles' Orb
- DecaBow
2/2 Equipped:
- Right Gold Gauntlet (Plasma Diamond)
- DecaBow Quiver
Injuries:
- Missing Left Arm (-1 to rolls)
- Impaled (-1 to rolls, death in 2 turns)

Tomaster [-]:
0/2 Active Abilities:
2/2 Passive Abilities:
- OverWritten (3 turns remaining)
- God Slayer
1/4 Inventory:
- Butterscotch (Kitten)
1/2 Equipped:
- Leo Draconis
Injuries:

Foa [6-1=5]: The sniper bot, along with all the others, is distracted by something at the other side of the room. You take this chance to aim very carefully with your LadyKiller, and shoot a tube connecting a canister on the sniper's back to its body. It rips in two, and a silver-grey metal starts spraying from the tube. The sniper notices you and spins around, gun pointed straight at you.
*click*
Nothing fires. Ok, you didn't die. That's a nice surprise.
The sniper bot tosses its very large gun and its two smaller uzis to the side, and pulls a knife the size of your arm out from a hip holster.
"Aww, ♥♥♥♥! I just shot you, don't pull out a damn knife and keep fighting!"
0/2 Active Abilities:
1/2 Passive Abilities:
- Sixth Sense (+1 to rolls involving surprise)
2/4 Inventory:
- HIGH-SPEED HANDCANNON
- 4 Mags for LadyKiller [Current Mag: 7]
2/2 Equipped:
- Fedora
- LadyKiller (Kickass Desert Eagle)
Injuries:
- Impaled Right Arm (-1 to using LadyKiller)

Ragdollmaster [6]: "Damnit, what the hell is holding me here GARG!"
You flail around, attempting to slice at whatever is binding you. You don't really succeed.
Suddenly, your vision is filled with white light, and you feel completely different, and yet at the same time exactly the same.
You also notice that you're able to move again.
1/2 Active Abilities:
- Photokinesis
1/2 Passive Abilities:
- OverWritten (3 turns remaining)
4/4 Inventory:
2/2 Equipped:
- Durendal
- Keltzinogre
Injuries:

Barnox [6-1-1=4]: Whoa... Your mind is big.
You search around a fair bit, looking for your emotions. This place is... Clouds. Lots of clouds. Things floating on the clouds, too. Usually doors. Sometimes birds. The birds are parts of your mind.
After a few minutes of looking around, you stumble across a dark, stormy cloud with multiple doors on top of it. You decide to investigate the doors, and soon learn that they have words painted on them.
Rage.
Sorrow.
Greed.
Deception.
Then, you notice a fifth door. Unmarked. Curiouser and curiouser. You crack the door open a bit, and tendrils of light immediately reach out, embracing you in a calming grasp. You struggle for a moment before you realize that they mean you no harm. You let go, and allow them to act...
2/2 Active Abilities:
- Mental Armor
- Mental Weapon
0/2 Passive Abilities:
- OverWritten (3 turns remaining)
0/4 Inventory:
0/2 Equipped:
Injuries:

BioBen [2-1-1=1]: "BLARG IT BURNS!"
You once again attempt to scrape the plasma off with the RamRod. Sadly, this time instead of merely catching flame, the Rod snaps, and you're left holding two uneven pieces of what was once a cane.
0/2 Active Abilities:
1/2 Passive Abilities:
- Symbiotic Combat Exoskeleton
2/4 Inventory:
- Gentleman's Uniform
- Portal Tophat
2/2 Equipped:
- Broken RamRod
- Frederic
Injuries:
- Plasma Burn (-1 to rolls)
- Plasma Burn (-1 to rolls, death in 1 turn)

Game Events: "What the ♥♥♥♥ do you think you're doing?"
"Playing my ace. Lock 2! OverWrite!"
"What?! You slut, release it!"
"Make me."
Fiona makes some sort of hand sign with both hands in front of her, and they begin to glow with a wispy white aura. Tomaster, Ragdoll, and Barnox all gain a similar aura around their bodies, before bursting into pillars of glowing yellow light. When it fades, they're all healed, revitalized, and outfitted with new abilities and weapons.
Alright you bastards, this will last 3 rolls. Make it count, because Blue's gonna be angry beyond words once it runs out.

"What..."
"The..."
"♥♥♥♥?"

"...'TigOlBitties'. You must be shitting me. Blue honestly set the password to Tig ol Bitties."
"NEVER DOUBT MY MAJESTY EVER AGAIN! Alright, let's see what this console thing can do!"
"Ben, get away from that before you turn Blue into a refrigerator."
"Wait, am I fading? Why am I fading?"
"Guys, Fiona just, iunno, turned on Godmode or something!"
"Oh. I guess that's w-"
Poof.

"Strange... what the hell is this? Well, at least I'm not stuck anymore."

First need to figure out what the hell Keltzinogre is before I act. Doesn't match anything on Google, so ah, I'm guessing it's something of Hyper's invention entirely.

Also; photokinesis. Oh my god. I'm going to be attacking at the speed of light. Admittedly, my wings are gone, but I barely even used them.

EDIT: Nevermind, Hyper has enlightened me as to what my new shiny weapon is.

>Use Durendal to morph into a Light Elemental, then charge Blue and attack with both Durendal and Keltzinogre.

I just became about ten times as powerful as I was before this roll. If I die, I will go down as the worst player in RTD history. Here's hoping to a good roll next turn.

EDIT 2: Also;

I may be reading into this too much, but is this another... subtle reference, if you will?

Ragdoll, wanna restrain Blue for me? Or at least distract her from me, and the impending ass-whooping?
Oh, it's on ♥♥♥♥♥. Time to die.
Go on the offensive. Use Leo Draconis to put on the pain. No one kills me and gets away with it.

Restrain her? With what, my Fake Mustache? My control of light?

I think someone moving at the speed of light and trying to stab the ♥♥♥♥ out of you with two runic blades is probably a pretty big distraction, so no worries.

You could blind her. But the point is made.

Soo whats happening in dead people land?

*Poof* is happening, that's what.

...was that last door Fiona's influence?
Also, Tomaster... you are alive. <3
Although... maybe for only three turns?

>Mental Weapon: Chainsword forme. Pierce-whip Blue.

Maybe I'm so popular with everyone that I live to the end!
Right, Hyper?

Alright guys, it's time to witness my awesome powers.