That's very good, madmax!

Is gibbed 2 syllables?
And what is the layout again?
5
7
5
Right?

Gibbed is one syllable. The format is 5, 7, 5. You could probably do a different format though - there are lots of them in the same style but longer at the very least if not more flexible.

I'm gonna try 4,2,4.

I still sleep tonight.
Death waits.
It feels just right.

You could always explore beyond the limits of Haikus.

There is a very skilled pianist from the lands of Paris
Whom musicians across the globe respect and cherish

She would travel the world forever
And play for those whom adore her

Unfortunately for them this poor pianist is fingerless



EDIT: Roast, that poem seems okay, but you could always be a bit more poetic...
"it gibbed and killed me." is a little anti-climactic, you know?

I'd also recommend avoiding commas, as they seem to break the flow of the poem. Having each line be incomplete might not help with the flow much though.

WIP of a collab lizzard and I are working on.
Kinda inspired by coffee over at pixelation
EDIT:

Updated!

Collab with Photocopier.

That poem is awfully generic.
Seems pretty forced overall, and what is with the random ye olde English?

Yea, it was kinda forced, ye olde English was just filler. I only really did it because I'm bored.

Looks great.

I think it's fairly good so far but it's missing focus. For example in coffee's you eye is drawn to the mens and the pack animal, not only by the fact that they are very detailed, but also because the structure of the piece frames them very well. Whereas with your I don't know whether to look at the guy, or the tower, or the moon, or what. Also, having the sky up there kind of destroys the enclosedness which was big part of the magic of coffee's piece.

Heh, wow. Someone from Pixelation actually came and posted on DRL!

I really like it, but it lacks focus.

Actually MLC, photocopier came to pw a while ago, then I showed him DRL yesterday :3

Mkay...



Made some progress.