The machine assimilates a computer from a nearby library. It has gained enough information to start heading towards Data's house mistaking it as the location of the intergalactic gold war

Material gold is not what this beast desires...

IT NEEDS XBOXXXXX LIIIIIIVE

It rumbles down streets, frantically searching for credit cards and street maps and horrifying everyone within sight of it. It also manages to cartoon-explode through a brick wall and is now inside somebody's expensive mansion.

Oh my god. I peeked at this thread two days ago and things seem to have gone horribly wrong since then.

It goes upstairs, and since DaTa is over at the shooting range, it just trashes the place, and takes his xbox controllers, and gold account.

The SWAT arrive on a call of rampant mayhem.

The vending machine quickly absorbs the SWAT troopers and wields their weapons akimbo. One in each tentacle.


I demand fanart of the vending machine.

I don't think the vending machine has tentacles. I imagined this more like the Luggage from Discworld.

I love two flower's luggage (now rincewinds)

Less discussion, more game.

The vending machine, having played and encountered and become sick of 12 year olds playing CoD (or w/e, insert shooter here), absorbs the xbox and goes to jack Data's car to cruise around town.

Data's Chevy Malibu is now VendBot's new chassis. VendBot has evolved to MaliBot! MaliBot also grows a flamethrower using the muffler.

Hyper are you ever coming home?
The MaliBot, angry at the lack of carnage, decides to make its own. It cruises around town, luring unsuspecting pedestrians near its muffler, and then toasting them a delightful charcoal color.

Optimus Prime arrives on the scene to protect innocent civilians.
I'm not talking the blocky 80's Optimus with the red pewpew guns, either. I'm talking the ass-kicking, name-taking Optimus with goddamn Wrist Swords from the more recent movies.
Also, I am back.

had to change this post like 4 times
Optimus goes in for a close encounter, lunges forward and lands a right hook on the MailBot's enormous face-neck thing, metal creaking and sparks flying everywhere! The MailBot latches onto Optimus and attempts to assimilate him

Optimus Prime rips out the vending machine's tentacles, and the ReArranged part of it is also ripped to shreds.
It returns to being a normal vending machine, and I insert a bottle cap.