And then I stumbled upon sfxr. Apparently some cat named Derek Yu uses it to make his video games and stuff and I figured I'd drop it in here because I'm just that nice.

Ahh yes. A wonderful thing, for certain applications.
I never thought of using it for CC.

I'm not sure how useful it would be outside of energy weapon style things, but the noise option seems to produce some nice sounds, and I've no doubt that with some trial and error you can get get something decent.

There is also this. Good for just finding any sound you want.

I Use:

Audacity
FL Studio
Korg DS-10
A Microphone
and a crapton of free VST plugins.

I have apparently, all those features, plus more.

Steam's Source Sounds have been providing me with all the sounds I need. I also have Wavepad to edit any sound to my liking.

SFXR is pretty useful for making old-style gamie noises like the ones you here in the NES Metroid.

Now if we could just get PlaySound to not be lagged by the timescale, wow I'd be one happy camper. Slo-mo sounds suck hard.

Isn't there a way to play a sound with lua, set to not lag for timescale?

I've tried that and it's great for old stuff, but it's really blippy and not good for much else.

You can set sounds to play in Lua and basically "control+O" only during the sound. While this keeps them played off the timescale properly, it makes for an odd speed up/speed down in the process which makes for a really ugly overall effect. (mail2345 did this in Facing World's CTF Lua for the flag capture sounds and whatnot).

I just want to be able to Play sounds off timescale as if they were music/UI sounds.

Obviously you're not going to get ready-to-use sounds from this but it can be a good start. It's also good for generic energy weapons and ♥♥♥♥.