Jetpack the deactivated goon's head in and search him for weapons.

GNAW on the GIRL's DELICOUS CLOWN MEAT. Hold up, where am I again? Oh yeah, we need ZOMBIE ACE ♥♥♥♥ for that.

His name is DI*CK, not the male reproductive organ, not walrus, its frickin short for RICHARD. Stop censoring my posts.

Holy DATA, I go away for a day and suddenly the thread is flooded with REPLIES. D:
This is gonna take AWHILE.



HRRRGN!
You give the GREENCORP IDIOT a mighty shove, sending the mindless MEATSACK over about two feet. Then you run back to the SUITABLY PIMPED RIDE for some reason.




After gazing into the DEPTHS OF SPACE for awhile, you are filled with confidence. You can kick this STRIKINGLY BEAUTIFUL LADY's ASS any day! You charge back upstairs and leap over the TABLE, shouting a battlecry...


...Only to quickly PUSSY OUT and jump back onto the TABLE as she swings her KNIFE, shattering the WINE BOTTLE in the process. She looks rather angry now. She spews drunken insults about REDCORP and staggers to and fro.


You puff out your chest proudly at the COMPLIMENT for a moment, before resuming the story.

You retreat over to the other side of the TABLE and whip out your CAMERA. Your EPIC DOCUMENTARY could always use more STRIKINGLY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. She continues slinging insults at you.


Suddenly, you realise that something is not quite RIGHT about these INTRICATE PAINTINGS. They must be FORGERIES! You quickly capture them on FILM so that you may verify this later with the BEAREU OF SPACEFRAUD.



Deciding that ENOUGH is ENOUGH, you leap over the TABLE once more and raise the CAMERA high above your head...


...And prompty get your ASS handed to you on a SHARP PLATTER. Ow, MUMMY, it hurts!

-10HP.




You turn your back for a moment to look for the BOTTLE, but then remember that you accidentally DESTROYED it during your CLUMSY EVASION. She takes this opportunity to run into the ARMOURYKINS, sealing the door behind her.




You do not listen to MERE WOLVES. The ADVICE is ignored.




You quickly scoop up some GLASS FRAGMENTS and turn around, GLARING MENACINGLY at the door and GROWLING. It does not seem very effective.




Yeah, you've had just about enough of her bullshin! You flail the CAMERA around wildly for a moment to DEFEND YOURSELF, then charge at the DOOR and slam it with your FIST of FURY. Oww.




You attempt to reach the SHINY 0, but alas, it is always out of your REACH. It is probably better to just leave it ALONE...






AAGH.
You awaken again to cold, hard station FLOOR. You should really get some SLEEP, these BRIEF NAPS are starting to give you STRANGE DREAMS.




You YELL your query at the DOOR. Since there is NO REPLY, you assume that the reply is NEGATIVE.




You HOWL your LOVE and DEVOTION to this STRANGE, STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL LADY. You simply CANNOT live without HER. TEARS roll down your CHEEKS as you PLEDGE your ETERNAL FAITHFULNESS to HER.
The sound of her retreating further into the ARMOURYKINS answers. You feel crushed.




You decide to head back DOWNSTAIRS for a breather after your EMOTIONAL OUTBURST. Your INSTINCT makes you search for a CABINET of FILING of some sort and dig around for a PISTOL, but a FILING CABINET is not anywhere to be found. Besides, why would you want CLIPS for a PISTOL? Would not MAGAZINES be far more USEFUL?




The SOLDIER GOON's melon splatters like a CAKE dropped from a TENTH STORY WINDOW. The lifeless CORPSE sprawls on the GROUND, spilling COPIOUS AMOUNTS of BLOOD. It is very SATISFYING.


You dig through the MESS, searching for VALUABLES. LUCK and FORTUNE are with you, for you find many TREASURES, such as the GREENCORP GOON's PISTOL, ammunition, credits, and the KEY to the SUITABLY PIMPED TRANSPORT. You capture this moment on your CAMERA, so that all will know of your ACHIEVEMENTS.

INVENTORY
UniTec Taurus Raging Bull.
6 x .454 Casull Cartridges.
Key to the SUITABLY PIMPED TRANSPORT.
76 Credits.

Your EYES go WIDE as you survey the SMALL FORTUNE in CREDITS. You have never had anywhere near this amount of DOSH before! Your first INSTINCT is to whip out your TRADESTAR ORDERING CATALOGUE and ORDER SOMETHING. ANYTHING. But you fight those ELATED FEELINGS down. There will be time for RUTHLESS SPENDING later.

BUGGER DOWN to the SUITABLY PIMPED TRANSPORT and GET THE FRACK OUT OF THERE, possibly to PLANET instead of some backwater STATION.

Order a cigar filled with CHRONIC and laugh hysterically at the door after you finish it.

SMOKE the station! It reeks too much of GREENCORP, and that GIRL would have to come out someday.

SUICIDE( ) because your love has abandoned you!!!

Kidnap her and force her into the MK2 Dimitri. And give him a last name.

Order a zombie companion to take out the crab problem.

Order the blunderbuss which you conveniently edited to cost -100,000 gold for playing skirmish missions.

Or, if that's not possible, shoot both the vending machines until they are lootable, loot, then shoot the door until it is broken.

>Realize that the filing cabinet is, in fact, in another dimension, and contains a NUKE. Run back downstairs and CRACK THE PUZZLE on THE SCREEN OF DOOM (tm) to open a portal to another world. NUKE the girl, then STEAL HER VALUABLES and ride away in your SUITABLY PIMPED TRANSPORT.

>CALL A NUKE. EVEN IF IT'S JUST ANOTHER PAINTING INDUCED DREAM JUST DO IT I WANNA SEE BOOMIES

Go upstairs and DESTROY the DOOR with your new weapon found on the dead GOON.

Dance and cause the very fabric of time to distort/rip!

You browse the TRADESTAR catalogue for CHRONIC, but unfortunately, CHRONIC has not yet been made available in this LOCATION.
You LAUGH HYSTERICALLY at the door anyway. But it just isn't the same.



You climb up onto a wall and attempt to SMOKE the STATION in place of a CHRONIC CIGAR. It does not BURN easily.



Crushed and defeated, you DESCEND to the ROCKET MK1 and use its AUTOPILOT systems to launch up onto the CIELING and destroy itself, and hopefully YOU in the process.


Miraculously, you are UNHARMED. Fudge.



You ASCEND to the SUITABLY PIMPED RIDE, and spot a SUSPICIOUS VENTILATION SHAFT, which, as everyone knows, LEADS SOMEWHERE IMPORTANT. Also, you are now named DIMITRI G BIV.



You hammer in your COORDINATES and an ORDER for a HALF-BAKED CLONE to your PDA. TRADESTAR responds almost immediately after the MONEY is WIRED.


You give it a GENTLE SHOVE off the PLATFORM to send it on its way to the CRAB PROBLEM. It SPLATTERS like a ZOMBIE dropped from a TENTH STORY WINDOW.

INVENTORY:
-8 Credits, 68 Remaining.
UniTec Taurus Raging Bull.
6 x .454 Casull Cartridges.
Key to the SUITABLY PIMPED TRANSPORT.




You call in a NUCLEAR BOMB on the STATION, blowing the rest of your CREDITS. It KILLS you (and leaves you POOR), so you decide to not do that.