Chill out on the couch.

You sneakily approach the MERE GREENCORP GOON. You got it all planned out: grab the key from those metal trousers and make off with their shiny new ROCKET MK2. It'll all go swimmingly, and you'll have a SUITABLY PIMPED TRANSPORT of your own!

Except those metal trousers apparently don't have any sort of pocket to them. They also seemed to keep the soldier unawares as you pat down his hips. He continues making idle conversation with the BRAIN GOON.



Failing to get the key to the transport, you decide to give that faceless BRAIN GOON what's coming. You stop using EDITOR MODE for your screenshots and instead play it in TEST MODE. Unfortunately this has the side effect of making LARGE IRRITATING BEACONS appear above the BRAIN GOON, and you are forced to PHOTOSHOP the RED HEARTS into GREEN HEARTS.

With a burst of your thrusters, you gracefully leap over the SOLDIER GOON, and get ready to give that BRAIN GOON the beatdown of his brainy life...


You accidentally misjudged the gravity of the station, and come crashing down on the fragile BRAIN CASE of the GOON. It shatters like porcelain, and you are left standing in a heap of scrap metal and glass fragments. The SOLDIER GOON stares at the mess in mute shock. Oops.




You quickly wipe the grey matter from your clothes and boots, and approach the SOLDIER GOON. Putting on a deep GREENCORP accent, you make brief introductions and then ask to take the ROCKET MK2 for a spin. You don't mention you intend to spin it all the way back to REDCORP.

He continues staring at what is left of his GREENCORP GOON BUDDY. He doesn't look very happy.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, you turn to the DISPLAY PANEL and look for a suitable TIC-TAC-TOE APPLICATION. The closest you can find is TAC-TAC-TAC, the more modern version of the game, where both sides play as the same team versus themselves. It does not make much sense, but you invite the SOLDIER GOON to play anyway.

He continues staring at what is left of his GREENCORP GOON BUDDY. You get the feeling that you have inadvertedly disabled the soldier's controller, and he is merely in "standby" until reconnection is established.

> Tear his head off, take the keys, and wear his outfit, its a perfect disguise.

> Go to Cortex Command/Base.rte/GUIs/Skins/Base/fatfont.bmp to aid in your quest to PHOTOSHOP the RED HEARTS into GREEN HEARTS, then get some RANDOM FOOD ITEMS from the VENDING MACHINE. Then knock the guys out with a SODA CAN and take their SUPERIOR ARMOUR. Before you do this however, you should probably take out the SURVEILANCE CAMERA in the room's corner.

Haha, this is great. You're doing a great job so far!

Order a GAT and murder everyone in the station, then steal their mining rights; REDCORP is victorious!!

NGGGGH!
Try as you might, your PETTY HUMAN STRENGTH is not enough to tear a man's head clean off his body. The SOLDIER GOON continues to stand there, oblivious to your attempts to remove his cranial reigon from his body.
Just to make sure the SOLDIER GOON really, really doesn't have POCKETS, you pat him down again thoroughly. Unfortunately, the KEY to the SUITABLY PIMPED RIDE is nowhere to be found. It must be on someone of higher rank than this MERE SOLDIER GOON.
As for his outfit, it appears to be welded to the SOLDIER GOON itself. Besides, even if you could get it off, you are far too hip to wear such drab threads. You are DIMITRI for crying out loud! Not a silly SOLDIER GOON.



Oh DIMITRI, you are a true PHOTOSHOP HERO. Instead of making all the hearts green, you simply erase them entirely, leaving the EXPOSITION and the EXPOSITION only to explain who is GREENCORP and who is REDCORP!

You approach a VENDING MACHINE and peruse the selection on offer. Since this OUTPOST is in a rather remote part of SPACE, the wares are not well stocked. You decide upon two cans of GALAXYORANGE. While the Tradestar manufactured drink is not known for its PALATABILITY, it does make a hefty THROWING OBJECT.

INVENTORY: -4 Credits.
16 Credits Remaining.
2 Cans of GALAXYORANGE SODA.

You look up towards the SURVEILLANCE CAMERA. The dull lens stares back at you. Careful aim now...


The can harmlessly bounces off the SURVEILLANCE CAMERA and splatters on the ground, spilling the foul smelling GALAXYSODA. It occurs to you that the CAMERA has already caught your accidental massacre of the brain bot, so one more act of violence caught on film couldn't hurt.


The FLIMSY GREENCORP SOLDIER GOON CRANIUM splatters like a CAKE dropped from a tenth story window. Grey and red matter go everywhere. It is very satisfying.

You approach the HEADLESS SOLDIER GOON and attempt once again to pry his armour off. Then you remember that you are, in fact, DIMITRI, and would have no use for such dull threads.

INVENTORY:
-2 cans of GALAXYORANGE SODA.
16 Credits.





You sit back on the COUCH for awhile, resting your THROWING ARM. You look upwards and admire the INTRICATE PAINTINGS.



Huh? Something about a GAT? The INTRICATE PAINTINGS capture your attention prolongedly. GATS do not matter.

RUN from the CRAB WAVE coming in from the LAUNCH PAD where your poor MK I ROCKET once was.

Kidnap the girl.
Break open the MK2 door, and blow up your MK1 afterwards.

Kidnap the GIRL, then go to the MK2 ROCKET, but suddenly BEARS appear from the inside of the MK2 ROCKET.

Go upstairs and eat GREEN CORP WIMPY GOON'S face off, the kidnap the GIRL and throw her into the VOID OF SPACE. Then hijack the ROCKET MK 2 and crash it into the the space station. Then hide in your IMAGINATION FORT.

Make a HOLE in the WALL of the STATION

Jump up to the SECURITY CAMERA using your JETPACK and detach it from the WALL. Then, use it to make a SUPER-COOL MOVIE.

The sound of an EXPLOSION and the skittering of little CLAWS come to your auditory attention. You tear your gaze away from the CAPTIVATING PAINTING and investigate.


Holy DATA. A CRAB WAVE has landed on the STATION, and they have destroyed your SUITABLE UN-PIMPED RIDE, and are now coming for you! Nooo!


You awaken to cold, hard STATION FLOOR. It was just a PAINTING-INSPIRED DREAM. Thank DATA.



You gracefully thrust yourself up towards the camera, take a firm hold of it and yank, hard. The GALAXYORANGE SODA-coated CAMERA comes away easily. You will make the most EPIC DOCUMENTARY of your EXPLOITS ever known to CLONEKIND. It will be MOST EPIC indeed.

INVENTORY
Camera.
16 Credits.



You find a suitable section of WALL and exploit a PHYSICS GLITCH to cling to it. But try as you might, your MERE HUMAN MITTS cannot hope to even scratch the STATION WALL. It is a SAD DAY.



You ascend the LADDER to the SECOND FLOOR, and enter the MEETING ROOM. The WALLS are adorned with a PARTICULARLY CAPTIVATING PAINTING. There are two PEOPLE standing here. One of them is a GREENCORP WIMPY GOON, who also appears DEACTIVATED. The other is a GIRL of STRIKING BEAUTY. Behind her is a door labeled "ARMOURYKINS". You are sorely tempted to KIDNAP the GIRL and throw her into the VOID OF SPACE. But first...


OM NOM NOM.
The GREEN CORP WHIMPY GOON's face stares impassively at your attempts to gnaw it off. It tastes very metallic, due to the FACE ARMOUR being worn, which is, of course, WELDED ON. You think you will cut this part out from your EPIC MOVIE.




You approach the GIRL and attempt to add her to your INVENTORY. She, unlike the GREENCORP GOONS, is not DEACTIVATED. She also does not take kindly to your attempts to FILE HER AWAY, and pulls a knife on you!

THROW the GREENCORP idiot at her and RUN to the SUITABLY PIMPED RIDE.