Alright, I've played Simcity once before. I know how to handle this.

>Enter in a cheat code and spam money.

ERGgh I missed roast veg joining, sorry.

Bentus has the right idea.

Then again, just zone residential, a small zone of commercial and a large industrial zone far away from the other two.

Kick-Flip-Barrel-Roll.

Bentus [0]: Desperate, you retreat to your office, lock the door, close the shades, and power up... The Console. The decrepit old computer has never been moved from your desk, regardless of the fact that a modern digital camera now has more processing power than it does. You look around once more, to make absolutely certain no-one sees this. It's... slightly less than legal.
"...Tig...Ol...Bitties...Yes! $1,000,000 Catdollars!"
You proceed to spam the code 14 more times.
Inventory:
- Godly Schrodinger's Cupcake
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Mayor of Purrolia

Amazigh [1]: "I’m so happy that I’ve got you here. We get to shagasgdjkagnirnbDCAGHSBJGGBLAAAAAA”
Several Napalm Cupcakes fall into your mouth while you eat, immolating your intestines. You die, and turn into dead ashes in a pile of burning Cupcakes and flesh.
Inventory:
- ALL of the cupcakes, except a few
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Dead

Tomaster [1 > CUPCAKE]: "CUPCAKE OF HEALING, I SUMMON THEEEEE!"
A massive titan of a cupcake falls down from the heavens, landing on the burning pile of cupcakes at the bottom. You're able to escape into the giant cupcake's snuggly confines, eating enough to heal yourself. Wait, is it warm in here? Oh sheet, the napalm cupcakes are re-cooking the one you're in. If you don't get out, the outside will harden, trapping you inside to be baked to death by a giant flaming cupcake.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:


Duh102 [1]: You head down to the local Pony Express office. Upon seeing your Cupcakes, they immediately chase you from the building with torches and pitchforks. On your way out, you accidentally drop the Cupcakes. Eventually, you look around and see that the ponies aren't following you for some reason.
Inventory:
- Map to Ponyville
Abilities:
Conditions:

Roast Veg [0]: Suddenly, you find yourself on the main road, clear of any cupcake debris. You turn around in time to see an absolutely goliath cupcake fall from the sky and destroy half the city. Oh my god.
Cupcakes falling from the sky.
It's the Bakeapocalypse.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:

Game Events:
Bentus is in his Office.
Amazigh is dead.
Tomaster is in a giant Healing Cupcake.
Duh102 is somewhere in the city.
Roast Veg is somewhere in the city.

Other people are in line ahead of you for one, and I'm not using a waiting list this time for another. First come, first serve.

> Turn into a pony, preferably with both a horn and Pegasus wings. Investigate why the pony express ponies didn't like the cupcake.

When someone dies, be the first one to claim his spot.

Just say you want to join, and post a first action. Don't expect things to not be silly.
Also, you might want to take care of your own RtD.

Hyper, how long until the cupcake hardens?