When suddenly, self-ignite on. You burn and get off me. And BUUURN!

Self-repair systems render the fire useless. I squish you again.

Your self repair systems go haywire, and your body mass is all cancerous.
You die painfully within minutes.

Folding chair over the head.

I'm dead, it did nothing.
Did i mention i had a whole army of flaming suicidal Whitebots? Oops, too late. They crushed you and they dragged you off a cliff and jumped on you and exploded.

GREENKHOV.
IS.
ETERNAL!

Also fire.

/godmode greenkhov 0
Sniper rifle to the head.

Reflective Bot to the Bullet. Bullet to YOUR head.

I sidestep. Due to Cortex Command being two dimensional, it crashes the game.

I get a siege driver.


And hurl small moons in your general direction.

I was in the Zombie Cave with the chip. You only hit the landing Ronin forces.

Throwing small moons would make where you are on the planet irrelevant.

But, either way, I send a squadron of Von Neumann machines to hunt you down.

You got killed by an army of self-repairing madmen with flamethrowers that launch globs of fire.

Well, considering the Von Neumann machines that "i" (in the sense that I take the place of cask in this example) sent can easily shrug off antimatter ammunitions, I doubt a bunch of guys with flamethrowers will help, regardless of whether they can self repair.
You get lasered.

If you remembered before, i'm dead. You just shot a dead body.
One of them madmen stole yer' laser.

The madmen have been hit by orbital railgun rounds, lasers, asteroids, and falling orbital railguns. Also fire.
They are about as dead as dead gets.

Suddenly a train falls on you.

I'M STILL DEAD, NO ATTACKS AFFECT ME.
I disappear and randomly pop on top of you.