You miss me and i catch your head and then turn your head around.

You are forgetting about my other head.

I proceed to use my un-grabbed head to bite all of your flesh off.

I dodged everything.
Once again, i order a crab nuke.

I'm a brain on the map, and since crab-bombs work by overloading the MOID limit and causing the game to gib only non-brain units, I'm perfectly safe.

I spill a pitcher of lemonade on your head.

Eh, Cave? When i used a motherload of crab bombs in my game, everyone on the map died. Even brain units THAT WERE NOT IN THE BLAST.
I suck you up with the smiley over there --->

A smiley is an inatimate collection of electrons and/or photons.

And when I said "orbital railgun on yo ass", I MEANT YPSILON STYLE.
(that means drop it on you)

I hold my hand up in the air and catch it.
I shoot a plasma beam.

I simply go to the left and dodge the plasma beam.

I then drop a Dropship on you.

I rammed a dropship into your dropship. No part of the destroyed dropships hit me.
I order tons of men with flamethrowers that launch blobs of fire at your brain.

i have no brain
i eat yours

In Cortex Command, you MUST have a brain, and you can't eat. Your attacks are rendered useless.
I order a Disruptor Grenade Nuke to disrupt your attack plans.

As I am not a brain in a jar, your attack has no effect on me.

I remove your ability to make Cortex Command based actions. Everything else is still viable though.

I take your head off and throw it at your body then.

My head has a self-explode system after it leaves the body, so it explodes in your hands before you can throw it.

I hacked the system allowing me to do CC-based things, and then only my hands exploded.
I squish you with my body.