Because no one wanted to make a female character.
And I'm a guy, thank you very much.

What's wrong with you? You're brutally murdering the English language.

Also hyper,i meant your character.Not you.

Sweet baby Jesus.

32 pages? Really?

Ohay, you're alive.

Just checking in. Every minute I spend away from DRL kills me ever so slightly, you see.

You've missed a lot. RtD Blue's Finale, for example.

EDIT: Hm, that was meant as a statement instead of an almost-insult. Sorry 'bout that.

Roll.

HighEndNoob
Pierre Berguard [9]: Suddenly, money everywhere. And women. And Pokemon.
Best dream ever.
Abilities:
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
Conditions:
- Twisted Right Wrist (Healed, -1 to use for 1 turn)
- Asleep

Tomaster
Vladimír Shurla [6]: "♥♥♥♥. Any way you could use the parts from the cannon to augment my current armament?"
"Not likely. I guess if he had some kinda special custom designed parts or something, but otherwise no. Very few companies make parts besides NovaCorp, and they tend to make the best. And guess who made your cannons?"
"Ah. That sucks. Ah well, nothing to do. Well, I'm heading off to bed then. Damn tired."
The group says their goodnights, and you walk back to your team's room. Everyone save James is already here and asleep, so you quickly slip into your bunk and nod off.
Abilities:
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
Conditions:
- Asleep

Mecha
Name: Goliath Mk.V
Class: Heavy
Weaponry:
- Two Heavy Cannons
-- Empty
- Hellfire FaF Missile Pod
-- Empty
Inventory:
Abilities:
- Heavily Armored (+1 to defense rolls, -1 to dodging attacks)
- Depleted Uranium Slugs (+1 to attacks using the main guns)
- Morale Boost (+1 to all allied rolls at the beginning of the battle, or when the Goliath arrives on the battle scene)
- Ypsilon Strike [SW]
Conditions:
Status:
Arms: OK
Legs: OK
Torso: OK
Etc: OK

Roast Veg
Aark-han [9]: Candy Avalanche? Don't worry, Thunder Stomach will handle this!
Abilities:
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
- Rough Map of the Exoneration
- Scrumptious Meal
Conditions:
- Asleep

Mecha
Name: The Han Van
Class: Light
Weaponry:
- Innnardsplatter
-- Set to Long Range
-- 2/5 Rounds Loaded
---Reloading (-2 to firing next turn)
- "Le Big Tweezers"
- Some Kinda Acid Sprayer [SW]
Inventory:
- 15 AP Grenades
Abilities:
- Scream Siren
Conditions:
Status:
Arms: DANGER
-- Left Shoulder Damaged, armor at 23%, motor function at 50%
Legs: DANGER
-- Left Foot Damaged, armor at 0%, motor function at 0%, structural integrity compromised
Torso: OK
Etc: OK

Amazigh
"Amazigh" [5]: Cat Clothes are go.
Abilities:
- Cyborg Enhancements
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
Conditions:
- Asleep

JJA79
James Argus [2]: You wait for Vlad to finish speaking with Erroni and leave, then approach her yourself.
"Hey Erroni, do you-"
"Tired now, sleep time. Goodnight!"
And with that, Erroni Gallagher has left the room. You feel dejected, and head back to your room for bed.
Pilot
Abilities:
- Sniper expert (+1 when shooting from long range)
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
Conditions:
- Panic (-1 to actions when in close combat)
- Asleep

Mecha
Name: Stinger
Class: Medium
Weaponry:
- Machine Gun
- Light Rail Sniper
Inventory:
- 8 LRS Slugs
- 550 .50 rounds
Abilities:
- Energy Blast [SW]
Conditions:
Status:
Arms: DANGER
-- Left Elbow Joint Damaged, Motor Function 0%
Legs: OK
Torso: OK
Etc: PROBLEM
-- Error in Primary Computer, Secondary Computer functioning

Tokochiro
John Kosloswa [1]: Oh god the bacon tastes so good! Wait, this tastes like blood. Oh ♥♥♥♥, it's razor bacon! The Apocalypse is upon us! RUN! You are sliced to ribbons by the rain of razor bacon, and die.
You wake up from your nightmare to see James open the door to the room. You then realize it was all a dream, and lie back down, slipping back to sleep.
Abilities:
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
- DIY Fleshlight
- HUNK RUMP
Conditions:
- Asleep

Game Events: Everyone is asleep. The rest of the night passes without any event, and ship quietly hums along on it's normal course. Maintenance goes about their duties while everyone else sleeps. At around Early o' clock, the various galley workers get up, and begin cooking a meal of regulation breakfast foods. About an hour later, a ship-wide wakeup call goes off on the loudspeakers, rousing everyone from their slumber. The Roller team awakes as well, greeting the morning with varying degrees of grogginess. The computer terminal mounted to the wall is blinking, showing that they've received mail. Probably an assignment.

Hyper, does that mean short of custom ordering the parts, or removing weapons, I can't add another cannon?
Yo, John, what's with the pringle's can and porno? Get a little lonely last night?
Sit and wait for whoever's reading the assignment to read the assignment.