What about somesort of sabot gun? Basically just fires big pointy rods of metal at stuff. Easy ammo and a heck of a-lot more feasible than a mini spider launcher. Or you know, you could just use an autocannon or something realistic...

Fine; if you want to be boring you could just use an explosively formed projectile or a nuclear pumped laser or an explosively pumped flux compression generator laser.

...
That's an Electrolaser.
And the fold up spiders, that's just not gonna happen.
Because the US Government wouldn't sell Fiona one, you're fighting for Fiona, and you'll need to check the computer for that.

Upgrades aren't possible with the skills that you pilots have, but that's why you have mechanics! Go talk to Erroni or someone else high up in the chain of command about this. They'll be the ones who can push an order through. They can also give you a list of what the ship has to upgrade with. You can increase the list by beating enemy mecha, since they will be deconstructed and used for parts. The ones that were just beaten will add a Heavy Cannon, a Mid Laser, a couple missile pods, and a few other things probably. If you've got a more standard mech design (2 arms, 2 legs, etc) then you'll have an easier time swapping things out. And yes, you can change up your weapons from time to time through the upgrade process I described.

Again, go check the computer. I'm fine with providing info about how the game works, but if I can provide bits of backstory like this in game, I will.

That's what I'm on about.

I'm trying to get a weapon that is interesting.

He was responding to Tomaster who said that a "taser" would be fairly silly.

Actually, he was responding to me about calling the lightning gun retarded.

Rawl.

HighEndNoob
Pierre Berguard [10]: You decide to walk back to your room, since there isn't much to do in the Mecha Bay. On your way, the ship gives a lurch, knocking you to the floor. You accidentally twist your wrist when you fit the floor, but after a minute of holding it in pain, you get back up and finish walking back to your room.
Abilities:
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
Conditions:
- Twisted Right Wrist (-2 to actions involving hand)

Tomaster
Vladimír Shurla [5-1=4]: "...sunnuvabitch!"
You head back to the Mecha Bay, following the signs pointing towards it. You know how to get back to your room from there, but not from some random spot on the ship. But also, you want to ask Erroni about increasing your mecha's already formidable firepower. Sadly, when you get back to the Bay, Erroni is no longer at the crate where she was before. Damn.
Abilities:
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
Conditions:
- Bruised Rear (-1 to walking, lasts 1 turn)

Mecha
Name: Goliath Mk.V
Class: Heavy
Weaponry:
- Two Heavy Cannons
-- Empty
- Hellfire FaF Missile Pod
-- Empty
Inventory:
Abilities:
- Heavily Armored (+1 to defense rolls, -1 to dodging attacks)
- Depleted Uranium Slugs (+1 to attacks using the main guns)
- Morale Boost (+1 to all allied rolls at the beginning of the battle, or when the Goliath arrives on the battle scene)
- Ypsilon Strike [SW]
Conditions:
Status:
Arms: OK
Legs: OK
Torso: OK
Etc: OK

Roast Veg
Aark-han [5]: FOOD and SLEEP. Well, if you're reading this correctly, then SLEEP is just the general location of all the rooms for the pilots. FOOD however, you don't recognize. You follow the crude map, and end up outside the closed door to the Mechanic's Lounge. You knock twice, and wait. For a few seconds nothing happens, then the door opens a crack, and a dirty face peers out.
"Yeh?"
Abilities:
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
- Rough Map of the Exoneration
Conditions:

Mecha
Name: The Han Van
Class: Light
Weaponry:
- Innnardsplatter
-- Set to Long Range
-- 2/5 Rounds Loaded
---Reloading (-2 to firing next turn)
- "Le Big Tweezers"
- Some Kinda Acid Sprayer [SW]
Inventory:
- 15 AP Grenades
Abilities:
- Scream Siren
Conditions:
Status:
Arms: DANGER
-- Left Shoulder Damaged, armor at 23%, motor function at 50%
Legs: DANGER
-- Left Foot Damaged, armor at 0%, motor function at 0%, structural integrity compromised
Torso: OK
Etc: OK

Amazigh
"Amazigh" [8]: Gumdrops and Teddy Bears.
Abilities:
- Cyborg Enhancements
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
Conditions:
- Asleep

JJA79
James Argus [3]: "So, where exactly would these books be?"
"Hell, I don't even know if we have any on board. That's your problem. Ask someone in charge of data or something on the Harbringer, they're much more likely to have something."
Well that was useless.
Pilot
Abilities:
- Sniper expert (+1 when shooting from long range)
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
Conditions:
- Panic (-1 to actions when in close combat)

Mecha
Name: Stinger
Class: Medium
Weaponry:
- Machine Gun
- Light Rail Sniper
Inventory:
- 8 LRS Slugs
- 550 .50 rounds
Abilities:
- Energy Blast [SW]
Conditions:
Status:
Arms: DANGER
-- Left Elbow Joint Damaged, Motor Function 0%
Legs: OK
Torso: OK
Etc: PROBLEM
-- Error in Primary Computer, Secondary Computer functioning

Tokochiro
John Kosloswa [2]: Acting on a hunch, you look under your bunk bed for anything. After a bit of feeling around, you find two things, one tube-ish object about a foot long, and what feels like a magazine! You pull them out and look at your spoils. A Pringles can with two sponges and a rubber glove wedged into it, and a copy of a blank covered periodical with the words HUNK RUMP across the top.
You take a look inside the periodical.
"OH GOD!"
Abilities:
Inventory:
- Field Medical Kit
- Field Repair Kit
- 9mm Glock
- DIY Fleshlight
- HUNK RUMP
Conditions:

Game Events: 4 Rolls Left in the night. At the end of the night, everyone still awake will be forced back to their beds to go to sleep for a few hours before morning arrives.

Do I wanna know why there were 2 gloves and 2 sponges inside the pringles can?