If it's me, at least have my GIANT GODDAMN ANIMAL kill something please? That isn't me? Or a teammate?

If I give a hint it will be too easy to pick who I mean.

Sakiskid (-) Tyler Smith.
Appearance:
6 foot, shaggy hair, skinny grey jeans, T-shirt, dark hoodie, skate shoes
Equipment:
Skiing mask
Open-Wound-Closing Gel in a plastic vial
Chocolate snack bar
iPod
Skullcandy headphones
Garrote (5 of 5 uses)
Ammo (2x each)
Weapons:
Silenced H&K UMP45 (25 of 25 rounds, stock-less, slung)
Silenced H&K USP .45 (12 of 12 rounds, holstered)
Machete (sheathed)
Ballistic Knife (Single use unless retrieved, sheathed)
Pair of Throwing Knives (1 turn to extract from shoes)
Abilities:
Stealth (+1 to stealth actions)
Athletics (+1 to agility-related actions)
Chaotic (Things are more chaotic or gory around you)

Wait, what? He has 6 weapons. Garrote, UMP45, USP .45, Machete, Ballistic Knife, Throwing Knives.

If I could make a recommendation; the garrote is probably not going to be very useful. Yes, it's a very deadly close quarters weapon when coming towards someone from behind, but it's no more effective than a stab in the back or a silenced shot to the head. The USP .45 is a bit redundant; it's the same caliber as the UMP, not much smaller/compact, and its silencer isn't that distinguishing when the UMP is also silenced. Seems like it would just be easier to get extra ammo for your UMP, which has greater power, range, accuracy, rate of fire, and rounds per magazine than the USP. Hell, you could arguably fire the UMP with one hand, too; it's a pretty versatile compact weapon.

So yeah. Then again, I don't really care, I'm just saying it might help down on the clutter and make your character more streamlined.

It's what he wanted, I just balanced it. It is a little OP still, just a tad, but he's starting with nothing where the rest of you have awesome abilities (looking at you Vlad).

Anyway, roll. I added a little something to the sheets as well.
Sorry Andrew

FoiL (1) Andrew Rodrigues
"Hey Barker, look alive!" Andrew grins, and aims the Jeep at the four soldiers that are firing at them.
Barker then stops firing.
"Is that... ? OH ♥♥♥♥!"
Barker then grabs the wheel and the Jeep veers sharply right, just as they hear a THUMP from their targets.
Half a second later, the world turns on its head.
Andrew is scrunched against the roof, upside down, with blood flowing from his his scalp. The inside of the vehicle is unbearably hot, and he cannot feel his preferred arm at all. His entire body is sore. There is a crackling noise around him and a foul smell.
Barker is nowhere to be seen.
Appearance:
Black hair, brown eyes, 6', well built.
Abilities
Fists of fury (+1 to actions involving melee)
Forced Break & Entry (+1 to actions involving breaking things)
Hyper Focus (+1 concentration. 4 of 6 uses)
Anti-Laser (Immune to attacks using Pure Energy as a Main Source, unless rolling a 1)
Blast-Proof (Immune to explosive forces, unless rolling a 1)
RAGE FACE (+1 to intimidation, scariness etc)
Mental Link - Vladimir ('Telepathy' with Vladimir)
Weapons
AA-12 (30 of 32 Rounds, Wielded)
Beretta 92FS (10 of 10 rounds)
Extendable baton (Holstered)
Inventory
Top gun sunglasses (Worn)
Blast-Proof Jacket (Pockets: 7 slot used, 3 available)
- Jacket Usage Manual (1 slot)
- 9 Rations (+1 to next action, 3 slots)
- A water bottle (+1 to next action, 2 uses, 1 slot)
- Ammo (5 Handgun magazines, 2 slots)
Waist Pockets (18 slots used, 2 available)
- 3 rockets for a SMAW (6 slots)
- Swiss army knife (1 slot)
- Utility Machete (1 slot)
- Ammo (3 Drums, 4 Magazines, 10 slots total)
Botanist's Backpack (16 slots used, 14 available):
- Flare Gun and 4 red flares (6 slots)
- A Folding Shovel (3 slots)
- Some empty vials (3 slots)
- 30ft of rope (5 slots)
- Briefcase (Broken lock but closed, 4 slots)
Condition(s)
Heavyweight (-1 to any actions involving fast movement)
Broken Leg (Splinted, -1 to jogging and faster, belt-tied to stop blood flow)
Concussion (Bleeding from scalp, -1 to all actions)
CANT FEEL MAH ARM (-2 to using preferred arm)
Dead Man's Instincts (MUST SURVIVE!)

Ociamarru (6-1=5) Vladimir Ivanov
Vlad looks at the Monkey and imagines that it runs out into the clearing and attacks one of the soldiers closest to him. It lets go of the vine and its fruity breakfast, scambles over Vlad's head (OW!) and races out through the hole in the trees, chattering and howling like, well, a crazy monkey, heading for the soldiers.
Appearance:
Russian. 6' 2", shaved blonde hair, green eyes, well built.
Abilities
Cybernetics (+2 to mobile actions, speed is doubled, 5 of 5 uses)
Athletic (+1 to mobile actions)
Resilience (Gains one extra roll before death)
Pilot Training (Able to fly aircraft, Cannot roll 1s)
Scar-face (+1 Intimidation, -1 Charisma etc)
Mental Link (Can project thoughts to others and 'see' theirs)
Slow Motion (Uncontrollable)
Instinctual Actions (Vladimir does things without thinking or knowing)
Say what? ( ??? )
Weapons
Saiga-12 Combat Shotgun (8 of 8 shells, dropped nearby)
Colt 1911A (5 of 7 rounds, wielded)
Khazar-replicated knife
Inventory
Containment Unit (37 slots used, 13 available)
- Carved Wooden Statuette of self (1 slot)
- Radio (1 slot)
- Cellphone (Reception: 3/5, 1 slot)
- Flare gun with 2 green flares (4 slots total)
- Ammo (4 mags of Shotgun Shells (40), 8 handgun magazines (80), 12 slots total )
- 5 days of Rations (15 meals, 5 slots)
- TOP-SECRET Information File (4 slots)
- Bubblewrapped Mechanical Cube (Downed Phoenix?) (3 slots)
- Medical kit (2 of 5 Uses, refillable, 5 slots)
- Cybernetic Enhancement Kit (1 Use left, nonrefillable, 1 slot)
Condition(s)
Rested for ∞ turns, ∞ turns before tiredness.
Fail Chest? (Healed?)
Spider-Monkey Control!

Point.Blank (6) Asfer
Asfer moves forward to the end of the trees and the start of the clearing, intending to lock on to the soldiers and fire the cannon, but with a swerving Jeep he can't get a definite signature.
Appearance:
Mobile Armored Frame EXpirimental 103 Cannon Exosuit.
Abilities
Large Muscle Mass (+1 to action requiring strength)
Sixth sense (+1 to detecting enemies, traps etc)
Mental Link - Vladimir ('Telepathy' with Vladimir)
Super Sprint (Diverts all power to the legs of the Exo-Suit to sprint. Max 3 consecutive uses. +2 to sprints, -2 to any other power-using action)
Weapons
Mk.III 40mm Revolver Cannon (2 of 6 rounds, 1 turn to reload) READY
Mk.II 5.7x28mm Vulcan Gun (250 of 250 rounds, 1 turn to reload) READY
Bladed Shield (Left arm) RETRACTED
Inventory
MAF-EX103C Exo-suit (1 turn to enter/exit)
Ultra-compact generator (Recharged by light, 5% per turn, damaged)
Sensor node (Left Shoulder, IR, NV, auto-targeting camera)
Rear cargo container: (18 slots used, 32 slots available)
- 40mm cannon rounds (6xHE, 6xFrag, 6xSmoke, 6xStun, 12 slots total)
- 500 spare Vulcan rounds (6 slots total)
Condition(s)
Loud (-2 to sneaking, stealth etc)
Heavyweight (-1 to any actions involving fast movement)
Wounded Left Calf Muscle (-1 to using lower left leg) Mechanized
Heavy Armour (Asfer's body is mostly safe from harm)
Generator Power 40%

HighEndNoob (2+1=3) Kyle Berguard
Kyle moves forward with Asfer and James, crouches and fires the FAMAS at the enemies. He can't tell if he hit them, but the two bursts definitely went close.
Appearance:
French. 5'8", goatee, green eyes.
Abilities
Marksman (+1 to longrange combat)
Pyromaniac (+1 when using explosives or flame)
Mental Link - Vladimir ('Telepathy' with Vladimir)
Weapons
FAMAS-G2 (24 of 30 Rounds, Burst-fire mode, Wielded)
Dual Golden Desert Eagles (5 - 5 of 9 Rounds, Holstered)
Katana (Sheathed)
Inventory
Holographic Sight (Mounted on FAMAS)
KAC Masterkey Shotgun Attachment (Mounted on FAMAS)
Recoil-countering Wristguards (100% Energy)
Backpack (23 slots used, 2 available)
- 5 Flashbangs (Non-Lethal, Audio/Visual, 2 slots)
- 5 Claymores (Lethal, contains ball-bearings and shrapnel, 5 slots)
- 5 Molotov Cocktails (Flammable, 2 slots)
- Cigarette Lighter (100% Fuel, 1 slot)
- 4 Semtex Plastic Explosives (Waterproof, malleable, 2 slots)
- 4 C-4 Explosives (Everything-proof, malleable, 2 slots)
- C-4 Detonator (1 slots)
- 5 Spare Magazines per weapon (15 total, 7 slots)
- 12 Spare Shotgun Shells (1 slot)
Condition(s)
Highly Explosive (Roll a 1 when shot and one of your explosives blow up)
Recoil-Countering (+1 accuracy, -1 when Energy has run out)
Explosives (Roll 3+ to successfully use, 2=fumble, 1=premature explosion, 6=dud)
Re-invigorated (+1 for this and the next roll)

CrazyMLC (4) James Blond
In response to RDM's remark about the Plasma Rifle, I imagined it as just a normal rifle but it fires special super-heated-when-fired plasma-filled hollow-point rounds.
"Dammit Andrew... you'd better not wreck my Jeep."
James moves up with Asfer and Kyle and fires his Plasma Rifle at the soldiers. The rounds fly true, maybe even hitting a few of the soldiers, but he can't tell from this distance.
Appearance:
British. Tall with an athletic build; blond hair, blue eyes, attractive.
Abilities
Ambidextrous (+1 to rolls involving the use of both hands)
Sly (+1 to sneaking, deceiving, picking up ladies etc)
Mental Link - Vladimir ('Telepathy' with Vladimir)
Weapons
Super-Heated-Plasma-Rounds Rifle (92% Energy, Slung)
High-Powered Dual Laser Pistols (100% | 100% Energies, Holstered)
Mono-filament Bladed Bronze Knuckles (Worn)
Inventory
Backpack (22 slots used, 3 available)
-Rations (15 meals, +1 to next action, 3 slots)
-Water Bottle (2 uses, +1 to next action, 1 slot)
-Two hand-lit flares (2 slots)
-Box of 12 Cigars (lasts 2 turns, +1 to awesomeness, 1 slot)
-Box of 50 matches (3+ to use, 1 slot)
-2x C-4 Explosives (3+ to use, 2 slots)
-3x Flash bangs (3+ to use, 2 slots)
-Blasting caps (3+ to use, 1 slot)
-Box of 6 Cigar guns (Disposable, single use, 1 slot)
-Fancy Expensive, manly cologne (1 slot)
-Plasma Rifle Ammo (5 mags, 5 slots)
-Utility machete (2 slots)
Condition(s)
Ideal Ambush (+1 to ambush-esque actions)
Sore Hand (-1 to using prefered hand this turn, cannot use Ambidexterous)

Sakiskid (-) Tyler Smith
Now he's bouncing around again. Being a hostage sucks. Being hog-tied in a bodybag in the boot of a car sucks even more.
THUMP BOOOM
CRASH
There is an explosion, sending him into and through something, probably glass. Specks of light peer through the bodybag, and them Tyler hits the ground. Hard. He rolls along the ground in the bodybag, which is rapidly being torn away from around him, and finally stops.
Appearance:
6 foot, shaggy hair, skinny grey jeans, T-shirt, dark zippered-hoodie, skate shoes.
Abilities
Stealth (+1 to stealth actions)
Athletics (+1 to agility-related actions)
Chaotic (Things are more chaotic or gory around you)
Weapons
Silenced H&K UMP45 (25 of 25 rounds, stock-less, slung)
Silenced H&K USP .45 (12 of 12 rounds, holstered)
Machete (sheathed)
Ballistic Knife (Single use unless retrieved, sheathed)
Pair of Throwing Knives (1 turn to extract from shoes)
Inventory
Skiing mask
Open-Wound-Closing Gel in a plastic vial
Chocolate snack bar
iPod
Skullcandy headphones
Garrote (5 of 5 uses)
Ammo (2x each)
Condition(s)
Hogtied (Cannot speak or use hands)
Bagged (Inside a vinyl bodybag - damaged and torn in places)
Sore (-1 to taking melee damage)

Game Events
It is early morning.
From James/Asfer/Kyle/Vlad's point of view:
As the Jeep thunders towards the group of soldiers, bullets flying every which way, one of the soldiers fires a grenade. The round impacts just next to the front right wheel, under the bumper, and the Jeep flips onto its roof with the explosion. Something large crashes out the back window, a large bundle of something. Looks like a body.
"Oh ♥♥♥♥, there he goes. Great." remarks James.
Vlad takes a step forward and stares at the Jeep.
"Arh, fark! Eendrew!!"
The Jeep skids along the grass on its roof, on fire, and another explosion from the bottom of the vehicle signals that the fuel tank isn't real happy. Now the Jeep is on fire, just 20 metres away.
Vlad's Monkey stops, confused by the explosion. Then some more smoke wavers through the trees, this time yellow. The animals go absolutely nuts, now stampeding towards anything that moves. The animals flowing past the group aren't avoiding them anymore - now they're pushing past them. Not attacking though. Maybe Vlad has something to do with that.
And then, surprisingly, Blurs stop fighting and start discussing, gesturing at the soldiers, the Jeep and the party (James-Asfer-Kyle-Vlad). Even more wierd, is that water starts to trickle out from the trees behind them and pool into the clearing. The rumbling is actually shaking the earth now.
RUMBLING: DANGER IMMINANT - NEXT TURN

20m Vlad, you gotta run there first. And you don't know if he's dead or not. Then another 30m carrying Andrew.

Can you explain why you're jumping backwards?

Ah, right - wait, Foil, do you even want me to try and rescue you?

It's up to you buddy.

Alrighty then - well, Foil, I hope you don't mind because I just realized that I don't quite trust Blurs and so I'm changing mah action.

Because thats my reaction when I'm faced in possible danger.Edit: nevermind. Changing action

You have to get Andrew out of the Jeep first! And you need to get to the jeep before that!! And the animals are heading at your enemies.

I figured that Andrew's action was to get out of the car, and the use of Cybernetic Enhancements would be enough of a boost for me not to have to have a running to car action. Is it, though?