Your role is to guide us and ♥♥♥♥ though, mostly a passive role, no? Anything GMish doesn't need statting or rolling.

Yes, but this is different, we have a physical manifestation in the world, the skills would help us be picked with a likeminded player, hopefully providing a better experience for both.

I don't see anything wrong with this. It helps the players be more unique from the rest of the team.

And besides, two abilities wont make you over powered.

It just doesn't make sense. A DM's job is to roll dice and make the world happen, not to directly interact with the world. It practically makes us players if we can fight like any of the actual players.

But we don't fight, all the 'skills' (or one skill which i would consider preferable) would do is provide a passive bonus to the player, not the GM.
Say if I had a +1 to swordsmanship (coz sords r da bom), I would be most likely be picked by a player with a sword, this would mean I get to write rolls with swords, and they get a bonus, win win.

I was under the impression we were assigning DMs and players randomly as to keep it legit. Or if we actually have skills like this, to keep it fair.
And if we have skills, then it just makes it a random assignment of random powers.

I thought it was an agreed matching between Player and DM.

Well... I'm beginning to lean on the side of skills. It adds more flavor and the passive bonus would help players choose their DM.

on the other hand I have no clue what skills could be applied to my creepy hovercube

Or you could randomly assign the gms/players and then the gms build off the player they get.

I would like to keep my Tech Fairy, though.

Random assignment it is!

Does a Tech-Fairy's patron character have to be on the same part of the tech/magic/both axis?

Most likely. It makes the most sense like that in my mind, anyway...
But it's really for caek to decide.

Yeah, well, it would be a shame to restrict players into a certain character archetype based on the random selection of their DM.

Which is why it seems silly for DMs to have stats.
If you want to give your player some bonuses, do it in game. Have them find an ancient artifact or something when they roll a really damn good roll.