When someone dies, be the first one to claim his spot.

Just say you want to join, and post a first action. Don't expect things to not be silly.
Also, you might want to take care of your own RtD.

Hyper, how long until the cupcake hardens?

What?!?! I don't even know how to do these things.

SOON.

Are you functionally retarded or something? Why would you make one and then not know how to do it?
User was warned for this post.

So he has at least an excuse.

Well I'm taking it as you are a jerk. No, I'm not a Ritard. I hit my head and went into a concussion. Apparently this must have been something I forgot, as I can't seem to muster a memory about this. Sorry

...Aaaaannnnyyywwhooo....

>Request the military take care of this giant cupcake. It's lowering my precious city's property value! Oh, and killing catpeople too. BUT THINK OF THE PROPERTY VALUES!

Rolling, ya impatient bastards.

Bentus [1]: Suddenly, your various phones begin ringing off the hook. Soon, you determine that a very very large cupcake has fallen in the middle of the city, destroying half of your precious town. You grimly strengthen your resolve, deciding that the military must take action. Several bomber planes are deployed within minutes, and you sit by your window, watching the cupcake anxiously. After a few more minutes, the bombers scream overhead, releasing multiple black specks over the cupcake.
"5...4...3...2...1...IMPACT!"
The bombs all hit the cupcake and get lodged in its frosting harmlessly.
Inventory:
- Godly Schrodinger's Cupcake
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Mayor of Purrolia

Tomaster [1]: "Well, what doesn't kill you...makes you stronger."
You attempt to chew your way out of the cupcake, and accidentally chew your way into a marachino cherry the size of a house.
Good god, there's cherry juice everywhere!
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Sticky

Duh102 [0]: Well, turning into a pony is still beyond your abilities, but as an Apprentice of Disguise, you can make yourself LOOK like a Pony. You do so, and walk back into the Pony Express. A green male with a star Cutie Mark greets you.
"Welcome to the Pony Express, where everypony is welcome! How can I help you?"
"Hey, I just saw everypony chasing someone down the street! What happened?"
"Bastard was carrying Cupcakes!"
"...Oh?"
"The nerve of these damned cats. Almost enough to declare war on them."
Inventory:
- Map to Ponyville
Abilities:
- Apprentice of Disguise
Conditions:
- Disguised as Pony

Roast Veg [1]: The very idea of a Bakeapocalypse bunker is preposterous. There is no shelter to be found from the coming pastries.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:

Tokochiro [0]: You become the Mailman.
LET'S DELIVER SOME PACKAGES.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- The Mailman

Game Events:
Bentus is in his Office.
Tomaster is in a giant Healing Cupcake.
Duh102 is at the Pony Express.
Roast Veg is somewhere in the city.
Tokochiro is the Mailman.

> Become able to turn into a pony. Become the best pony EVER.