Hello everyone!

I'm back! Sorta!

You might have wondered about what happened to me, since I wasn't posting on the forums for like a month or so.

Well, it all began in 19/2/2012.
I was in holidays, and like in every holiday, me and my family went to Reñaca, a coast city which is one hour from Santiago, the capital city, where I live. We spent like 2 weeks in there, and I had a lot of fun, until one day, after coming from the beach, late at night, my left testicle began hurting.

Badly.

It was very late, my mom wasn't feeling very good because she had had a surgery 3 or 4 days before, so I didn't want to bother her with it, so I just thought "Bah, I bet it's something stupid, it can't be serious. I mean, I didn't do anything stupid to my balls, right?". I couldn't sleep all night with the intense pain. It was like 5 AM when I fell asleep, and 9 AM when I woke up, and I spent all the morning with this pain. I went to the bathroom, walking like a cowboy, I pulled down my pants, and noticed that my left testicle was almost twice the size of my right testicle.

And it kept hurting. It was an intermitent, deep and breath-taking pain, it's one of the few pains I've had that made me shed a tear or two.

We were having breakfast when I told my mom "Mom, my left nut hurts a lot", and my mom began shouting "Your nut? Did you hit yourself? It hurts too much? We'll take you to the hospital, now!!!!". It was Sunday, the day was looking very good, just as much as the argentinian tourist girls who were renting an apartment two floors over ours.

When I got to the hospital, a doctor checked me and asked me some questions, like "Did you hit yourself?" or "Do you have an active sexual life?". Finally, he told a nurse that I had to get an ecotomography (if that's how you call it in english). The ecotomographist (if that's the name of it in english) was a women. And she was hot.

But the pain I had was so intense, that I couldn't think of anything but the pain. She began scanning my nuts, and she pressed kinda hard, and it hurt a lot. I kept putting pain faces until she said "Does it hurt too much?" with a compassive face, and I was just about to answer "Nooooo, not at all, in fact, it FRIGGEN TURNS ME ON!", but I just nodded.

Then, the doctor checked the scans and said "You have a torsion in your left testicle, you must have an emergency surgery." My first reaction was a laugh, but one of those you make when you are very surprised. Then, the doctor said "If your testicle is in this state for more than six hours, there is a high risk of losing it. And you've been in that state for around twenty hours." I just laughed harder, and I don't why, it was like so surprising, and so sudden.

And my mom kept looking at me saying things like "OH GOD! MY CHILD! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE! IDIOT! YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE YOUR BALL!". I was quickly hospitalized and went into the surgery room. The doctor who operated me, Pablo Riera, was an argentinian doctor in his mid thirties, and he was very funny, and even more with his accent. "Te vas a llevar un buen recuerdo de estas vacaciones. Las vas a recordar como "Las vacaciones cuando me torcí un huevo"." he said.

After the surgery, I spent the ♥♥♥♥ worst night of my entire life. I couldn't feel my legs, I was in that state when you are half-sleep and half-waken, but I was feeling tired and wierd. Next day, my mom came to visit me with my uncle, and I had another ecotomography done. When I looked at my new, 0K, bull balls, I noticed 7 or 8 cms of stitches in the middle of the sack. The doctor said I was fine, the testicular torsion wasn't full and I didn't had much damage on my balls, and everything was normal again (even though I'm sure my left nut got bigger, but I guess it's just me).

For like a week, I couldn't walk much, and when I walked it had to be like a cowboy. Grazing my ball with my leg hurt a lot. The doctor said my stitches would fall on they own, so like after two week I removed then by myself when I noticed they were loose.

Then, school started, I told my friends this story, we all laughed a lot (because almost all my funny stories are related with my genitalia, and I know how to make a story funny), and then, I realised I hadn't got into the computer for like a month! Too much time, if you ask me. I went to the computer, only to find out that the computer was very ♥♥♥♥ up.

BSoD... BSoD everywhere!

I haven't fixed that computer yet, so I'm typing this in my sister's computer.

Now, I'm back (sorta, I won't be logging in too much, since this is my last school year and I must give a good PSU (a group of tests of 75-80 questions for math, science, history and language, and with this test you get a score (which goes from 0 to 850, which is called a "Puntaje Nacional" or "National Score", and when you achieve it you get scholarships and stuff)), with which you see if you can or not enter to study a career in a specific university (universities ask for different scores, depending on the career and wether if the university is traditional or private) and I must get a national score on maths and over 800 or 750 on the rest to study medicine in the best university out there, which is kinda expensive so I need the scholarship, so I'm very busy studying for it).


Soooo.... I'm back! What has happened lately?

♥♥♥♥, I've got 10 unread messages. I feel popular!

PD: Sorry for the "explicit" language, but I couldn't talk about this without being explicit!

EDIT: Oh yeah, guys, did you miss me? :3
Did you even notice I wasn't here? =D?

You were gone?
...
Who are you?
Also holy ♥♥♥♥ that sounds like it sucked. Glad to hear you're not dead or anything.

Haha, that should make a great party story or conversation starter. Glad your balls made it through fine though (that sounds weird doesn't it...), must've been a pretty horrible time despite the awkward hilariousness of it.

You hurt my feelings.



And you are right!

Well, anything interesting lately on DRLFF?

Ooowwww, can't I re-appear as a zombie or anything?
I was liking the RtD!


Anyway, I'll try to be as active as I can, I mean, I love this community (EVEN IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME DRLFF!!!!!!!111!!!) and I still haven't released my gunship mod.

That's too bad, I'm glad you're back though.
I was seriously debating to make in a post in the lounge with a theory of why you were gone.

I enjoyed the part where I was a lesbian Nazi hooker, but then, I got a torsion to the nut.

Badumtch

Anyways, welcome back broseph. I just figured you were on a long holiday, I had no idea you broke your genitals.

pics or it didn't happen

Nice to have you back, Asklar

I indeed noticed that you were missing.

Also, I did not know that you had damaged one of your testicles.

Welcome back to the forum . Nothing has changed

Someone had to do it. Glad you're okay though, no lasting damage I hope.

Seraph that's too kind of you!

Just wait until your nut decides to troll you.

Also, today a friend threw me a basketball to my balls and then he said "OH ♥♥♥♥ SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT YOUR SURGERY!!!!!!!"

Were you ok?

It hurted more than normally, but I'm ok.

I guess.

So are you still in my office earning my salary?