Looks great to me. Can't find anything wrong with it.
In my opinion, i'd give it 10/10.
| Data Realms Fan Forums http://45.55.195.193/ |
|
| Read my paper! (Seriously) http://45.55.195.193/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=26081 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | Tomaster [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 9:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | Read my paper! (Seriously) |
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dUpT2pa520r14BE5XeYkdLLjajC8uJV5xD9Jihq3jnM/edit Read it, give me some feedback, preferably ASAP, as it's due first period tomorrow (AKA 4 hours). But even if you see this too late, still feel free to give me some feedback, it's the first writing assignment I've actually tried on. |
|
| Author: | Thriller [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 2:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Read my paper! (Seriously) |
Looks great to me. Can't find anything wrong with it. In my opinion, i'd give it 10/10. |
|
| Author: | Bad Boy [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:19 pm ] | ||
| Post subject: | Re: Read my paper! (Seriously) | ||
A bit late but here are a few corrections with comments. I hope you're using word 2007 or later since it's saved as docx. If you don't I can do compatibility mode of course. It's a good essay and I hope you do well on it. I'm not an English student (Chem) but I'm pretty decent at essay writing and grammar and such so I'm fairly confident in most of my corrections. That said, this was a 10-15 minute job so I may have missed or screwed up on things. I also probably missed a few grammar rules - dangling prepositions and such but no one in their right mind actually cares about those so it's not a problem. I think my comments in the doc explain most things but if there's anything that needs clarification I'll be happy to give it. Oh, and in case you (or anyone else who wants to read it) hasn't worked with word's review view, to change it go to the review tab and change Final Showing Markup to Final (or Original if you want to read the original from there). Most of the people here are probably young/intelligent enough to know how to work a computer but better safe than sorry.
|
|||
| Author: | Mingebag7 [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 7:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Read my paper! (Seriously) |
Pretty good essay you got here. |
|
| Author: | Miggles [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 9:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Read my paper! (Seriously) |
Good. Not sure about all the swearing, and you kind of got off topic sometimes. Still good. |
|
| Author: | Mingebag7 [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Read my paper! (Seriously) |
Yeah, I wasn't sure about the informality either. |
|
| Author: | zalo [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 11:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Read my paper! (Seriously) |
It reads much more like a speech or motivational/life lecture than an essay for school. I like some of the insightful connections that you've made, and the categorizations of friends that you've come up with. Overall, it's very good in terms of content, but the loose structure and informality definitely geared it towards being a speech. What was the prompt? |
|
| Author: | Asklar [ Sun Nov 06, 2011 4:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Read my paper! (Seriously) |
It is a good paper, but the lack of formality was quite disturbing. Aside from that, I can't see anything wrong. |
|
| Author: | Culthero [ Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Read my paper! (Seriously) |
Use signal words for the friend type paragraphs: "Facebook Friends" can be a title but not a topic sentence. It's better to start paragraphs with topic sentences. "First, there are Facebook friends." might have been more formal and reader friendly as "first" would signal a new type of friend, and the topic sentence would say what the paragraph would be about. Your content gets 8/10 because of the overall informal language, organization gets 7/10 for it could have been more reader friendly, mechanics gets 10/10, and linguistic/lexical accuracy gets 10/10 no significant mistakes. Overall: 35/40 or 88/100 |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC [ DST ] |
| Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|
