You get a piece of Calcium Carbonate.

I insert a facepalm.

Your get a headdesk ( and a subsequent trip to the hospital )

I insert $4.99, and an order for a cheeseburger.

You get you cheeseburger, but they forgot the onions.

I insert Wierd Al Yankovic.

you get a parody named Odd-Bob Pullavick!

I insert the fact that "I HEDGE THAT HATEHOG!!!"

Oops. Sorry about that.

I did *exclamation-face*


(did you yet notice your fail?)

You get an illogical and illegal argument between two anonymous end-users.

I insert a box of Large Fries from Hungry Jack's (Australian Burger King).

A scorpion jumps out of the vending machine and stabs you, and then a kangaroo flies out of the sky and kicks you to death. Don't ♥♥♥♥ mess with Australia. Or even talk about it.

I insert three copies of Halo: Reach.

I steal the Limited Edition copy, and go play it on my new 360 Slim.
I insert a Big Daddy.

You get a pissed off diver from a time long past.

I insert a zygote.

♥♥♥♥ you darkdoom, I wanna show this off.

The vending machine gives you a DVD containing this clip

You receive a small child with a platypus beak.

I insert an AR-15 rifle.

You get a pissed off M16 who wants to be a sniper rifle.

I insert Duh102...

I am become God.

I grab a Holy Cog from inside the vending machine, throw it like a boomerang out the slot, and it inserts itself back in.

...therefore creating a neverending loop of self-destruction that ends up breaking the vending machine.

...

Until I fixed it by inserting a vending machine...

the vending machine asplodes due to it inserting itself... PARADOX!!!

I insert Endorphin Learning Edition