You get a vending machine! unluckily, its warrantee only covers it when it has not been used. It also self destructs when the warrantee expires! have fun looking at it!

I insert everything that has ever been inserted or dispensed from anything, anywhere!

You get doom. Conveniently, the sun sets.

I insert a "Jolly Rodger" pirate flag.

out pops a grammar teacher who stares at you intimidatingly, then hands you note saying that "it is spelled 'Roger', and that a note has been sent home to your parents concerning this gross oversight"

I insert my doom! it did not affect me anyway, since i reside in doom.

You get your salvation. You're obliterated in a ray of light from the Vending Machine's slot.
I insert $1.25 and press the button for a Coke.

You get a can of orange, when in reality you wanted Lemon Lime.

I insert RAGE into the vending machine.

Blue pops out of the vending machine slot and says "Stonecutter." A giant stone sword appears in her hand and she cuts you in half horizantally.

I insert Blue's green jello.

Shame I wasent making a reference to Roll To Dodge.

You get lime flaver jelly.

I Insert a Fruitcake.

Fruitcakes spew forth from the vend slot. One impacts your forehead and knocks you out with it's delicious brick-ness.

I eat a fruitcake and insert my fork when I'm done.

You get a spoon!

I insert my necksplosion i had on Grimston, which is my avatar.

You get a real-life necksplosion. Ouch.

I insert Internet Explorer 9 beta.

you get a note saying "Google Chrome was better when it first came out..."

I insert Google Chrome

You get a note saying "I totally agree with what you just said."

In an attempt to begin a recycling campaign, I jam all of the notes ever gone in or come out of the machine into the coin slot.

The machine learns that paper is not very tasty, and tries to find something better... it sucks in your arm, and eats it.

I insert the buckets of blood i got from your bloody stump.

The machine spits out a note saying "Stumpy... is that you?"

I scream and run around in circles before smacking into a lamppost and knocking it onto the vending machine, leaving a nasty dent.

lol... i saw what you did thar!

The machine goes ape-shit mad and rams into you, leaving a much nastier, bloodier dent.

I insert my ghostness from back when i inserted myself into the machine in an attempt at immortality.