You get a scale model of a Deatheater from Harry Potter. How ironic.

I insert the Delete key from an 80's keyboard.

The machine returns a Delete key from a 70's keyboard.

I insert the vending machine's mama.

You get a supermarket

I insert a supermarket.

You get a hypermarket.

Removing the sugar from said market is calming it down, and I casually toss the Vending machine into the not-so-hyper-market.

the vending machine gets overloaded as obese people spend tons of money in it to have energy again.

I insert one of those obese people.

All the candy mysteriously disappears... then a load of empty wrappers fall out. The obese person is nowhere to be seen either.

I insert Tiberium and Creeper Vines.

you get the fight of the century. also lag.

i insert some of the candy wrappers.

The machine eats them and sucks in the other candy wrappers as well, before recycling them into orphan-grade toilet paper.

I locate the nearest orphan, give him the paper, and jam them both into the machine.


[The orphan shouts: "Wow, this is the best place I've ever lived in!"]

5 minutes later you hear screaming and a squishy, cutting sound. out pops an orphan head mummified in orphan grade paper.

i insert a box of cracker jacks with a special surprise inside.

You receive the empty box, opened and emptied (including the surprise!)
I insert the new student I'm going to be tutoring in intro comp sci tonight.

you recieve your student, but now he is a has been debrained.

i insert my tears, over my surprise, that i bottled.

Ninja'd, dammit! Aw schnap. Well here's mine anyway:

You hear cracker jacks cracking, and they come out, broken and stained with orphan blood. The special surprise appears to have done nothing... but then the vending machine magically grows a face and some legs, and begins wandering around town, eating as many cracker jacks as it can see. When it has satisfied its unhealthy obsession, it falls flat on its slowly deforming face, intoxicated by the minute levels of alcohol in cracker jacks.

I roll the machine into a ditch to get it out of the way.


DAMN!! NINJA'D AGAIN!! Here is Duh's:

Sadly, the student goes the way of the orphan, except there is no toilet paper left, so the head is covered in cracker jacks.

I pour a vial filled with tears of purest phoenix into the coin slot.


darkdoom

You receive the exact same phoenix tears I was just going to put in. [paradox]

I insert the paradox.

you get some ninjas from being ninja'd so much. also you get chuck norris fighting himself.

I insert a stoned bird.

You get a bird skeleton and some whisky.

I insert Chuck Norris and a ninja. (I'm keeping the others for later )

You get about 40 posts in the same thread.
I insert some new people.