That is awesome.

So let me kick you in the face, if it's not a big deal for you

Of course it sucks but it's not epic. You're retarded.

Not sure how 'epic' this is, but anyway:

My friends and I were sitting on this bench, and this, oh, 2 year old girl, walks by. And procedes to cuss us out using every word in the book. Conversation stated with a friendly, "What the hell are you doing here?" In shock, we sit there dumfounded. She then started calling us ♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥♥es, man ladies, and starts trying to punch us in the balls. Her mom (I'm pretty sure, they looked a lot alike) then comes along, takes the tyke's hand, says that was a naughty thing to do. Mom makes her apologize, and while they walked away, she turned and gave us the finger. We have not seen them since (We do not know them).

You should of punched that ♥♥♥♥♥ in the face. I hate little kids who think they are 'hard' by swearing, little ♥♥♥♥. when I was that age me and my brother re winded Tomorrow Never Dies to hear "Oh and Mr.Stamper, will you please kill those bastards." again. Now kids go swearing left and right, it's times like that where I wish I had two things. A gun, and a license to kill.

Little shits.

Would an epic tale of epic revenge count? Cuz i got a great one for that.

A kid in my school asked this one girl

"How far can i get for 75 cents?"

She slapped him so hard that he fell over, and then she went home crying.

It was sweet.

Well anyways, here is my epic revenge story:

My ex was being a ♥♥♥♥♥ (lots of personal problems I WONT go into...) and decided to toss me aside for some other guys (little ladylike). I got VERY pissed at this. And where does someone go when they want revenge and have the power of the internet at their hands? Why, I went to /b/ of course. I posted a pic of her and her cell phone number. Every time she was called/txted, the person said they were Taylor (her ♥♥♥♥♥♥ boyfriend at the time). This went on for about 10 minutes, and I was watching the thread with great joy. After being satisfied, I deleted my post with her number and took down the pic. About 5 minutes later, I get a call from her. I don't answer (I'm not a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥). She calls again, and I still don't answer. I was about to go to bed when i get a txt from her saying "what you did was horrible and cruel... thanks to you im crying". She was a wreck for a while after that. Ended up breaking up with Taylor like a day later. Haven't talked to her since. One of the most satisfying days of my life. I am SO cruel.

This is not epic. Also I hope you get banned. Cancer etc.

ITT people sucking up to elites by saying epic and cutting down others by saying not epic

ITT Funny stories or situations you created != epic.

A kit-kat bar made of ♥♥♥♥ pure chocolate however, priceless.

The elite? Well, marm, I'm flattered, but I ain't nothin' but a simple country boy.

Octyl's bit made me laugh, but it's only epic if the kid was like six and did it out of the blue.

Secunded.

Yeah I didn't mean you Ophanim, especially seeing as no-one actually is sucking up to you.

I once got jaffa cake pods with seven inside instead of six three days in a row.