you recieve your student, but now he is a has been debrained.

i insert my tears, over my surprise, that i bottled.

Ninja'd, dammit! Aw schnap. Well here's mine anyway:

You hear cracker jacks cracking, and they come out, broken and stained with orphan blood. The special surprise appears to have done nothing... but then the vending machine magically grows a face and some legs, and begins wandering around town, eating as many cracker jacks as it can see. When it has satisfied its unhealthy obsession, it falls flat on its slowly deforming face, intoxicated by the minute levels of alcohol in cracker jacks.

I roll the machine into a ditch to get it out of the way.


DAMN!! NINJA'D AGAIN!! Here is Duh's:

Sadly, the student goes the way of the orphan, except there is no toilet paper left, so the head is covered in cracker jacks.

I pour a vial filled with tears of purest phoenix into the coin slot.


darkdoom

You receive the exact same phoenix tears I was just going to put in. [paradox]

I insert the paradox.

you get some ninjas from being ninja'd so much. also you get chuck norris fighting himself.

I insert a stoned bird.

You get a bird skeleton and some whisky.

I insert Chuck Norris and a ninja. (I'm keeping the others for later )

You get about 40 posts in the same thread.
I insert some new people.

The new people stare in horror at the long and pointless exchange between darkdoom and Roast Veg.

I insert common sense.

One of my rogue ninjas takes it away.

I insert the greatest sportscar ever.

Data gets angry because his Malibu has been stolen again.

I paradoxically insert the vending machine into itself.

All is left is a slot, which falls to the ground. The vending machine processes itself in itself, and spits itself out as well as a black hole.

To avoid getting killed by the black hole, I jump into the vending machine slot.

The black hole inverts with the addition of strange new mod-mass, equivalent to antimatter, so that although CaveCricket perishes, all of his wonderful mods, and all of his not-so-good ones [if such things exist] claim some reality.

The vending machine is now just a coin slot. I frame it and hang it over my fireplace.

I invade your house and steal the coin slot machine.
I pull a slot machine lever out of thin air and insert it into the coin slot.


Somehow...

Wow that is impressive. Out pops infinite moneyz for your good work.

I gaze longingly at the coin slot, because I am afraid of Duh's skills... then I remember I got telekinesis from that nuclear waste dump I had been swimming in. I telepathically restore the vending machine to it's former glory and insert a cow.

You get some random cow blood, gibs, and milk?
I Insert ....

Out come the purest candy ever known. In fact, it burns your hands to touch it.

I insert the shrivelled remains of Sakiskid's hands.

You get mummification bandages. They turn to dust in your hands.

I insert a normal, properly working clock, but with the face mirrored vertically (1 is on the left, 11 on the right).