You get the answer to life, and everything. Just kidding, you get nothing back. Did you think this was a free ride?
I insert clothing from Hot Topic.

The machine spits it back out: 'Syntax Error'
I insert a boook of jokes.
NINJAD

You get a free hat.
I insert a satchel bag.

You lose your inventory.
I insert Steam. (The program.)

You don't get a Mac.

I insert over 9000 pounds of cocaine.

You get an overused meme.

I insert magazine letter cutouts, spelling 'DRLFF'.

You get a hostage letter demanding $1,000,000 for the release of Data, and for only an addition $500,000, weasel!
I insert the power of love.

You get a black rose.

I insert $1,500,000 in Monopoly Money, along with a paper file headed 'DATA' and a weasel plushie doll.

You get Data.

I insert a floppy disk.

You get the response "♥♥♥♥ YOU, FLOPPY DISK" ( Eheheheh, Unsuitable... 0

I insert liqued red, and liquid blue.

You get a rose and a violet.
I insert my tongue, to try and get at the delicious delights stored inside.

trapt?

Anyways, you get liquid Purple.

I insert a nice fresh 20$ copy of Borderlands (+ DLC) and a bad graphics card. : (

You get a old and unused copy of Quake on 6 floppy disks, in random order, with no numerical notes showing which is first, second etc.

I insert MY old crappy graphics card: NVIDIA 6200, along with resident dust, dirt and magical gremlins. (The ones that work hard to let me play TF2 )

You are given liquid yellow, green, and blue. ( Oh no, you don't seem to have the liquid graphic card, the graphics could've of made men become god, and women become goddesses, such a spectacle... )

I insert fruit gushers, and liquid purple.

You get an eggplant.
I insert Firefox

You get a ton of addons just spewing out of the vend-o-port.
I insert a request for a PS2 memory card.