Well, in IRC I was told to write a children's story in my perspective. However, I got a tad bit carried away. I looked at objects on my desk for help, and soon enough formulated a grammatically unstable story. It's not formatted etc, but I was told to post this. If you think something would go wrong while reading this, concerning your personal state, then please go back. Otherwise, read forward you daring bold adventurer you. Or idiot. Honestly, this was to kill time. Are you ready for this? Because...I don't think I am...Well, here it is then.










Once upon a time, there was a comb. That was in a strip club...The odd thing was, the strip club was actually a rake club merely disguised. The comb was very furious when he walked into the club. And so, considering he had nothing to lose due to his wife leaving him, his house burned down, he had been stabbed seven times, his children forced him out of his home by violent threats, and he was mutated(Yeah, combs can bleed, breed, mutate, and a whole bunch of ♥♥♥♥), he said,"♥♥♥♥ it, this is the last time anyone has pulled a sick joke on me." He broke off one of his teeth, and went around the club stabbing all the rakes. Everyone was dying and no one was alive. Soon enough the swat team arrived, except they were bears, with laser beams. The bears were also super nazis, that rode flying laser skates, they were also space cowboy pirates and carried lethal machine guns that fired flaming boulders. The bears were very pissed as the swat team was there for some rake action, but instead they found a homicidal comb. They transformed into 600 yard tall fighting mech warriors with laser beams and flame throwers. The comb then escaped in his seriously pimped out van. He was speeding down the high way and the super bear piloted robots were on his tail. Then Cinos popped up from behind the driver's seat and said,"The hell? This is my van ♥♥♥♥♥!" He pressed the airlock button and the comb went flying into space. But the robots followed him and were firing Enterprise starships at the comb. The comb pulled out two BFG9000s and engaged the mechs in an intense space battle. There was explosions, lasers, and rockets flying everywhere. Then all the Patrick Stewards leaped out of the Enterprises and started bombarding the comb with boring dialogue. The comb started firing a billion heat seaking missiles at the Patrick Stewards, but they were two many. They overcame the comb and tied him to the moon and sent the moon into the sun.

The moral is: Don't do drugs.

*twitch*

*twitch*

I didn't think you'd take it seriously...


It's very... erm, colorful.

You think thats sick? You should see my metaphors for 4chan.

You think that's sick? You should see Jack's porn folder.

What does the story have to do with children?

The "once upon a time" and "the moral". Not to mention children would be the generation I'd distribute it to. Please read it to any young family members, kids at day cares, etc if you can.

...

*still twitching*

I want to see your metaphor for RULE 1
and maybe also your metaphor for RULE 2

Lay off of him, jerk.

We're all friends here and aren't so sensitive when we insult one another with short sentences, so no hostility here.

Uh, you said you came up with this stuff from things you had on your desk... Do you seriously have a TEDDY BEAR on your desk?

Nah, only a few things. I don't have all that crap on my desk. Only other items, such as the comb...Yeah anyway.