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Hay look I can write to!
http://45.55.195.193/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=4494		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Elpolodiablo [ Thu May 10, 2007 8:09 am ]
Post subject:  Hay look I can write to!
I'm not sure if I'm gonna finish it or not.

The battle ship shook as it was pummeled by the guns of the opponent fleet. The hanger shock so much that several of the clones around clone 3275 fell to the floor, they were soon helped back up by their brothers in arms. The light above the troopship that 3275 had been designated to board had flashed green and the clones around him surged forward. 3275 along with his squad climbed aboard and took there designated area quickly checking their own and each others arms and armor.
“Ok squad, when we touchdown it’s our job to eliminate the enemy forces in the landing zone so the other troopships can land more troops and armor.” 3275’s sergeant barked.

ATTENTION CLONE #G3275
3275 stood to attention as one of the fleets many S.I spoke to him through his neural implant.
YOU WILL REMOVE YOUR SELF FROM THE TROOPSHIP AND PROCEAD TO SECTOR 12A
3275 understood, he had been chosen for an alternate assignment and had to report to an armory.
“Sergeant I have received a higher order and must depart”
“Rodger that 3275”

Setting off at a run 3275 exited the ship just after the last squad moved aboard. It took the clone just under 1 min to make the long run to armory 12A and wile running he begin to question why the S.I had ordered him to this one in particular when there were others closer. He slowed down as he approached the huge steel door of the armory. They slid open as he came close and clone 3275 looked around in wonderment as he saw why the S.I had directed him to this area in particular; each shelf was lined with new pieces of tech and experimental weapons.
“You must be clone 3275” the voice came out of one of the oldest clone 3275 had seen (clone life expectance is 30y years; this is shortened to 12 when exposed to combat.)
“Yes sir” 3275 barked “reporting as ordered sir”
“Very good. Well then this is what you are meant to collect.” The old clone picked up a small computer chip.
“Sir?”
“This is the Mk 7 Human interface A.I prototype chip.” The old clone said “It goes in your head”
3275 understood. He was to be the test subject for the chip. He removed his helmet and face mask so the old clone could insert it in to his temple. At first there was a white hot pain that soon was faded to a dull throb.
“Don’t worry. The pain will only last as long as the A.I takes to introduce its self to your neural pathways just try not to move too much. In the mean time you will probably want to know why you were chosen for this.” He paused for a bit “In each clone there is a chance for mutation these mutations can be for good or bad. Now they breed green clones like your self for loyalty and fighting ability. You have both but they also breed them for a lack of imagination. You couldn’t have a clone with thoughts about independence now could you? But unfortunately that was the gene that the mutation affected in you. This makes you both useful and undesirable. Because of this you have been paired with the prototype A.I as your personality will not be overwhelmed by it but will compliment it, and that you will curb the more undesirable tendencies in it.”
Hello clone #G3275. I am the Mk 7 Human interface A.I prototype chip. You may call me Alpha.
Author:  muffinmonkey [ Thu May 10, 2007 8:26 am ]
Post subject: 
I stopped reading at the 4th word

SPEEL RIGHT DAMN YOU

shook = violent side to side motion
shock = suprise
Author:  Elpolodiablo [ Thu May 10, 2007 8:37 am ]
Post subject: 
I just said i could write not spell :P
Can you reed? lol
Author:  Exalion [ Thu May 10, 2007 9:15 am ]
Post subject: 
bad. not only a simple spelling mistake done once (i thought it was a typo) but then you did it again! geez! and why such big font?
Author:  FantastikO [ Thu May 10, 2007 9:58 am ]
Post subject: 
**** hell! He spells poorly, at 400 and something posts, I thought people would've established that by now.

Imaginative & creative - 8.5/10, spelling aside.
Author:  Dauss [ Thu May 10, 2007 1:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Aww, come on guys, at least he tried. :D

That's worth something, right?

Yeah, I DO recoomend editing that post, fixing those mistakes... No one is gonna hate you for it, but they may hate you if you don't.

But yeah, you aren't dead yet. Write some more, and keep in mind that good writing also includes good spelling, grammer, and punctuation.

Did I just spell punctuation right?
Author:  Elpolodiablo [ Thu May 10, 2007 1:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would but I cant tell whats wrong :(
Author:  Janto [ Thu May 10, 2007 4:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Kinda, generic.

With all the other storys atm you need to make it different.

Dauss epic cant be beat!

But my story uses broken timeless and imagery, mabye a little too serious for this type of game but its my writing style
Author:  Dauss [ Thu May 10, 2007 4:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Janto wrote:
Kinda, generic.

With all the other storys atm you need to make it different.

Dauss epic cant be beat!

But my story uses broken timeless and imagery, mabye a little too serious for this type of game but its my writing style


Heh, story status is now EPIC. :D

This calls for celebration, I'll try to write three action packed chapters tonight.
Author:  AlphaCommando [ Thu May 10, 2007 5:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
I write my stories in microsoft word, it catches most of my spelling errors before I post it, it wont fix incorrectly placed words however.

*On topic* Good story, I like how it starts off with a space battle.
Author:  Elpolodiablo [ Fri May 11, 2007 11:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Well the first bit was going to be fought in space.
Also S.I is not a spelling mistake it stand for sentient Intelligence (like a.i but not artificial)
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